King of The Castle

King of The Castle

In English we have this little rhyme that we used to sing as kids. It went something like this:

I am the king of the castle

and you're the dirty rascal!

On and on we would sing it, standing on the tallest stone or wall we could find. Even as children there was something special about being the king or queen. About being treated with admiration and respect. The day you got married, you took a place of royalty in your home. You became the queen and your husband became the king.

Have you caught yourself wishing that your husband would treat you like a queen? Then how about treating him like the king of his home? Take something really practical. Think about the last time that your husband was not feeling well. Perhaps he was tired. Perhaps he had a cold or maybe he just had a headache. How did you treat him? Did you treat him like a king? Or did you tell him to fetch his own medication and go lie down?

You know we are the ones to have the babies and the Lord has built this ability in us to be able to handle certain things better than men. We handle pain better. We handle the smell of dirty diapers better. But men are different! It is true that if men were the ones to have babies...we would NEVER have to worry about a population problem in the world. Men are strong, but when it comes to being sick, you once again see the child come out that desires to be treated with love and "mothered" a little.

Now if you know all the GMRN teachings and principles, you could preach right back at me. You could say that he should not need anyone but the Lord. You could tell me that he needs to get his faith up. You might even run around looking for curses. Yet while you do all these things, you forget to fulfill your role as the wife in your home and to treat your husband with love and respect. You let him seek the Lord for himself, while you meet his other needs.

Before you start to preach, cook some soup, get an extra blanket, give him a cuddle and ask him how he feels. A little bit of tenderness goes a long way and will get better results than, "You need to have faith...stop moaning...get up and go to work!"

In the book of Esther we see how Vashti was banned from the King's presence because she did not give him the honor he deserved as king. As a result he found a queen that did respect and honor him. A wife that pleased him! Esther was such a queen. Giving her husband the admiration he deserved.

Do you want to be treated like a queen?

Then its time to make YOUR man the King of His Castle!

Finding Time and Breaking the Rules

Finding Time and Breaking the Rules

Esther 4:11 All the servants of the King and the people in the king's provinces know, that if any man or woman comes to the king in the inner court, who has not been summoned, there is a specific law to put him to death. The only exception is when the king holds out his golden scepter to let the person live. But I have not been invited to come to the king for the past thirty days. (GMRV)

Esther 5:1 On the third day of her fast, Esther put on her royal clothes, and appeared in the inner court of the king's house, right in the entrance hall to the kings house: and the king was sitting on his royal throne in the royal house, facing the entrance of the house.
2 And when the king saw Queen Esther standing in the court, he was pleased to see her: so the king held out to Esther the golden scepter in his hand. And Esther came closer and touched the top of the scepter. (GMRV)

Life gets so hectic at times that you do not find time to spend with your spouse as you should.

When this happens, be grateful that you did not live during the time of Queen Esther. When her husband got too busy to pay attention to her, she had to take her life into her hands to get his attention.

It is likely that he had made time to be with other women. No man can be so busy that he does not desire sex for over 30 days. On the other hand, perhaps he was just so busy with the affairs of running the country, that he had no time to think about his lovely Queen.

You might think to yourself, “If I were married to the most beautiful woman in the country, I would want to be with her every night.” But alas, each one of us has the experience of burn out where sometimes you forget that you are married to the most wonderful person in the world.

You just get too busy with other things to pay attention to your marriage and the person who shares your life with you. And often when this happens, things start to go wrong that you are not even aware of.

What can a woman do when her husband is too busy to notice her any more; when his work seems more important to him than her? She can do what Queen Esther did in the incident described above.

Notice firstly that the Queen did not just rush in. She prepared her heart with fasting and prayer. So before you barge in with a wrong attitude, begin firstly to prepare your heart and attitude.

Secondly she approached the king in humility, not arrogance.

Thirdly she put on her Royal Garb before approaching him. She did not just appear as a sexy woman, to stir his hormones. He had plenty of women who could do that. But she approached him in a way that reminded him who she was. She was The Queen, not just any other woman.

And finally, she came with boldness into his presence, expecting him to respond positively. To use a common expression, she “got right in his face.”

You can also use this approach if your spouse has been neglecting their part in the marriage. You can step out boldly, yet in love and humility, to remind him or her of who you are and what you are expecting.

This is sometimes a dangerous step, because it could lead to another quarrel or marital fight. But perhaps it could make your partner wake up to realize that they have been drifting away and neglecting the marriage.

If you approach this right, you might be surprised to find that your spouse was not really aware of what has been happening. They might quickly break out of this and realize that they have neglected you.

And when this happens, you might just get the golden scepter, and an offer of half of the kingdom. So don’t sit wallowing and complaining about the state of your marriage.

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

Know Your Spouse

Know Your Spouse

Marriage is the best!
Marriage is great!
Marriage is heavenly!
Now check your mate!

This week I want you to take a little time out to have some fun! I remember a program once that was always fun to listen to. It was called ‘Check Your Mate’. Basically it was a game to see who knew their spouse the best. So are you up to it? Do you think you REALLY know your spouse?

Well there is only one way to find out! Below are a list of questions that will tell you for sure. Simply type in the answers and forward them to your spouse. The real test will come when they respond and tell you how many you got right and how many you got wrong!

So get ready... steady ...GO!

Check Your Mate

Answer each of these questions and forward them to your spouse for marking. If both of you play this game you are in for some laughs. And who knows, you might learn a few things about your spouse you never did before!

1. What is your spouse’s favorite color?

2. What is your spouse’s idea of a romantic evening?

3. What does your spouse love the most about your body?

4. What character traits does your spouse love the most about you?

5. Which of your habits does your spouse dislike the most about you?

6. What kind of gifts does your spouse like to receive?

7. Where does your spouse love to touch you the most during love making?

8. What makes your spouse feel attractive about him/herself?

9. What is your spouse’s favorite outfit or pair of shoes?

10. What are your spouse’s goals for their career or ministry?

11. And finally... What is the one thing that you could do, that you know would immediately cheer up your spouse when they are having a bad day?

Do not end the game here! When you mark your spouse’s answers, add a few more questions of your own! Or even better, try to think of one thing they do not know about you and tell them about it!

The Lord has created something so special between the two of you. As you continue to open your hearts to one another and to the Lord, you will just keep getting closer. Everyone has days when you fall down and things do not go as you planned, but get up and keep going again. Look past the conflicts and take that time to just say, “I love you.” It is amazing how just a bit of love can go a long way.

I trust that you have as much fun with this project as I did. I cannot wait to see what your results were. Be sure to let us know your score on the Marriage Message Board!

With Love
Colette Toach

For You My Love

For You My Love

1 Samuel 18:25 And Saul said, Thus shall you say to David, The king desires not any dowry, but a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, to be avenged of the king's enemies. But Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines.
26 And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king's son in law: and the days were not expired.
27 Therefore David arose and went, he and his men, and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave the full number of them to the king, that he might be the king's son in law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife.(GMR)

Aren’t you glad that these days a man does not have to pay to get his wife? But in the early days and in some cultures still there was a price to be paid if a man wanted to marry a woman.

Do you remember how important your wife was to you when you first fell in love with her and desired to marry her? Some men still have to pay the price of asking the father of the bride for permission to marry the daughter.

But is it really a price? Most men would risk their lives to win and gain the one that they love.

Think back on what it was like before you were married, and how you longed to be with your love. What price would you have paid then? She was the most valuable thing in the world to you. He was the most precious thing you could think of.

But each day as you rise up and start the day, do you still feel the same? Each day, as you go through the problems of life and face difficulties, do you still think this? Or do you simply take for granted the fact that you have someone who spends their life with you?

What if your spouse were made a better offer than what you are? What if another woman offers herself to your husband in your place? What if another man were to offer himself to your wife in your place?

What would you do? Would you consider your spouse valuable enough to fight for, and give up all for? Would you be prepared to pay any price to keep them?

And then as you look at yourself, would you consider yourself valuable enough to your spouse that you would never need to be afraid of this? Are you sure that you are of such value that no other person could ever compete with you?

Every day marriages come to an end because someone stopped realizing how valuable their spouse was. Marriages end because a husband or wife are no longer valuable to their partner.

Perhaps if you were to think back on the price you would have gladly paid, or did pay to get your husband or wife, you will realize how precious they are to you. And then perhaps you will find yourself once again ready to risk your life for the one you love.

Could you take in your hands the biggest price you could pay, and hold it out to him or her, saying,

“For you my love. You are worth every bit of it”?

Climbing The Hill Together

Climbing The Hill Together

Song of Solomon 2:6 His left hand [is] under my head, and his right hand embraces me.
7 I charge you, O you daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that you do not stir up, nor awake [my] love, until he pleases.
8 The voice of my beloved! look, he is coming leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills.
9 My beloved is like a roe or a young hart: look, he stands behind our wall, he looks out at the windows, showing himself through the lattice.
10 My beloved spoke, and said to me, Rise up, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.
11 For, look, the winter is past, the rain is over [and] gone;
12 The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing [of birds] has come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;
13 The fig tree puts forth her green figs, and the vines [with] the tender grape give a [good] smell. Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.
14 O my dove, [that is] in the clefts of the rock, in the secret [places] of the stairs, let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. (GMR)

The passage above can best be understood if it is interpreted to describe the wonder of the final climax in love making.

It begins with the intimacy of holding and touching, and leads finally to the fullness of the sexual experience.

Notice especially the consideration that each one gives to the other. Yet how often does this truly happen in your experience? How often do both you and your spouse give each other enough consideration to make sure that both have a fully satisfying experience during love making?

If you do, then you will understand some of the symbolism of this passage. The first stage is one in which you embrace and begin to touch each other. The sense of touch is probably the most important of all in love making.

But where do you touch your lover to bring them the greatest experience of pleasure? This is something that varies from person to person, and each one has a nervous system that might be different. We all have parts of our body that are more sensitive than others, and they are not always the same for every person.

So which parts of your spouse’s body experience the greatest sensation of pleasure when touched? This is something that you should have found out by experimenting a bit. Or were you so keen to get to the orgasm that you did not take the time to touch, fondle and stroke each other?

For a man, the sensation of penetration can be so strong, that he needs little else to come to a place of climbing that mountain leading to the final peak of the love making. But for most women it is not quite the same. A woman needs to be touched and stimulated far more then a man, because she is not immediately aroused by the sight of her husband’s body, as he is by hers.

But there are no fixed rules. Each one is different, and you should take the time to explore each other’s bodies to create the most wonderful love making experience possible. Often the longer you take to climb that mountain leading to the peak of pleasure of the sexual experience, the greater your final experience will be.

For the man it might involve holding back until his wife is fully aroused. But this is not always the case. Sometimes even a man needs some kind of foreplay and build up in order to fully enjoy the experience of love making.

So take the time, and if necessary, make the time to be tender with each other, and to touch each other, rather than just rushing in and getting it all over with. It is an investment which really pays off.

A woman who is given this consideration more often, is more likely to get excited about making love more often. But if you just rush in to satisfy your needs before considering your wife, then do not get angry when she finds excuses to not make love tonight.

The passage above describes some of the feelings that come when love is approached the right way. Touch soon leads to talking, and expressing your love in words, or just emotional sounds.

Notice the woman describes the voice of her husband as he is quickly aroused, and he wastes no time on moving into the position for love making. But he is not a selfish man. Instead of satisfying himself immediately, he waits for his wife to catch up.

He encourages her with the words,

“Rise up, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.”

He knows that once he has come to that peak, his part will be over, so he holds himself back, and encourages his wife to rise up first and be satisfied ahead of him. He speaks a lot more to her, painting some beautiful pictures to help her relax and come to the orgasm first, so that they can then move into it together.

The chapter ends with a lovely description of the woman encouraging her husband as he too comes to that wonderful place that God has created for us to reach in this wonderful experience of love making. The two have become fully one and the experience is so wonderful that you feel it can last all night.

Song of Solomon 2:16 My beloved [is]mine, and I [am] his: he feeds among the lilies.
17 Until the day breaks, and the shadows flee away, turn, my beloved, and be like a roe or a young hart upon the mountains of Bether. (GMR)

Would it not be wonderful to experience this every time you make love? It can be possible if you both consider each other, and go about pleasing your partner first instead of satisfying your own desires first.

It is indeed true, as the Word says, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

Too Sexy For Your Shoes

Too Sexy For Your Shoes

Song of Solomon 7:1 How beautiful are your feet with shoes, O prince's daughter! the joints of your thighs [are] like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman. (GMR)

What is it about the body of your spouse that really appeals to you?

For many men, it is the sight of the legs of their loved one. There is no doubt about it that a woman’s legs are one of her greatest beauty assets, apart from her breasts.

But how can you get your legs to look good so that they will appeal to the man in your life? The answer is simple.

SHOES!

Why is it that a man can live with a couple of pairs of shoes, whereas a woman usually needs a cupboard full of them? It is because the shoes that a woman wears can enhance the beauty of her legs more than most other things.

The way a woman walks is a wonderful sight in the eyes of a man. Songs have even been written about it in the past. Men watch women walk and they are affected by the sight.

So what can you do to make yourself more alluring to your husband?

You can learn to walk like a woman. And the best way to get this right is to wear shoes that will enhance the way you walk. And the best ones are those with higher heels.

If you are not sure what this involves, then just try watching women walk some time. Next time you are in a public place, take time to watch the women walk. And ask yourself, who is looking the most feminine and sexy?

If you are not able to detect this yourself, then ask your husband to give you his honest opinion. You relationship should be good enough for you to do this without feeling threatened. Ask him what appeals to him in the way a woman walks.

Then watch the men walk and compare it with the way a feminine woman walks. You will see a big difference between the two.

When a woman walks, she keeps her feet together and walks in a straight line, while wiggling her hips from side to side. This sight is enough to make any man want to take another look at her. But a man tends to walk with his feet apart, each facing outwards in a jagged line. Definitely not something which carries sex appeal.

Consider what shoes do to a woman to enhance her beauty. And consider how different shoes can make her look more royal and feminine.

As Solomon looked at the feet and legs of his lover, he saw something that really appealed to him. He saw lovely legs that as she walked caused her hips to wiggle from side to side in a wonderful way. And he remarked about the joints of her thighs.

Are you making the effort to walk in a sexy way for the man in your life ladies? Ask your husband to be honest with you. Try giving him a special parade, wearing different shoes, and walking up and down in front of him to see what he really likes the most.

If your walk is not that feminine, then try putting a book on your head as you walk to force you to walk like a lady. You will be amazed what an effect this will have on your man.

Do you not be surprised if this little exercise leads to a wonderful time in bed. Your husband is likely to become so stirred up by the sight of you walking in an appealing way that he will want to make love to you right away.

This is what you want isn’t it? To make the man in your life think you are the loveliest woman in the world?

And besides, you might find him suggesting you get some new shoes to wear. So in the end it is definitely to your benefit.

Give it a try and see what happens.

No More Alone

No More Alone

Ecclesiastes 4:9 Two are better than one; because it is well worth the effort.
10 For if they fall, the one will lift up their companion: but woe to one that falls alone; for there is no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two sleep together, then they arouse each other: but how can one become aroused all alone?
12 And if one is overwhelmed, two can stand together; a threefold cord is not quickly broken. (GMR)

Marriage is the cure to the most desperate need that we can have in life – loneliness.

Unfortunately many married people take this for granted and have forgotten what it was like to be alone.

I am appalled at the number of times I see a husband and wife each living their own life. They each follow their own careers, they go on vacation separately, and sometimes they even sleep in different beds.

One wonders why people like this even got married in the first place.

Ask any single person who is crying out for a life partner what their greatest need is, and I can guarantee that they will tell you it is loneliness.

The Lord made us to be together, and to work together, and enjoy life together. Adam was not a happy man before the Lord made Eve and brought her to him. And even God himself created man for someone to have fellowship with.

In the passage above Solomon gives us some of the benefits of having someone else by your side. He starts out by saying that there are great benefits in making the effort to be together.

So forget about all the disadvantages of living so closely together with someone, and forget about all the things that irritate you about your spouse. Start looking at some of the wonderful advantages that you have.

The first advantage is that there is someone there to help you up when you fall. Often this may not be a literal falling down physically. All of us have times when we are emotionally down, and need someone to lift us up. This is when having someone nearby who cares and will encourage you is most valuable.

You will find that most of the time, both of you are not down together, but you take turns. In this way, there is always one who is feeling good and strong, who can lift up the other.

Solomon speaks of two people who sleep together affecting each other. Most Bible versions translate this verse as the two warming each other up. However, the original Hebrew word for warm can also refer to sexual arousal or stimulation. So both can apply where the two people in this passage are a husband and a wife.

I think this is a good picture. You do not need to lie there shivering alone, because there is someone there to cuddle up to and make you warm. And when you are that close you will also affect each other sexually, and a wonderful time of love making should often be the result of sleeping together.

The final benefit that Solomon speaks about is having someone to stand with you when you are under attack. Spiritually this is very important, because we all face attack from the enemy in our lives in serving the Lord.

How wonderful it is when you are under attack and feel that you cannot resist any more, to have someone else to stand with you. Someone who will help you in the fight when you are feeling weak and the enemy is stronger than you are. This can apply when you are spiritually under attack, or even when you are feeling sick in your body.

Jesus said that where two or three are gathered together in His Name, He would be there also. This adds the third part of what Solomon said. A cord having three strands is very strong, and does not break easily. By standing together as one in the Lord, we form a bond that the enemy can never break.

Do you still think about what it was like before you were married? Do you think how nice it would be to be able to do as you please and go where you please?

If any of these thoughts have entered your mind, then think again.

You need never be lonely again. Besides, who would want to be?

Smelling Like a Rose

Smelling Like a Rose

Song of Solomon 1:3 Because of the aroma of your aromatic oils you have a reputation for pouring on cologne, therefore the young women love you. (GMR)

The Lord did a curious thing when he made man for the first time. He had already created all the animals, but he wanted to show that man was not just another superior animal.

If you compare the mating patterns of animals and man, you see some interesting “opposites”.

The first is that in animals, the male is the one endowed with great beauty, which is used to attract the female, who is usually very plain and unattractive. Of course in humans it is the other way round. The woman is the one who carries the beauty and the man is always attracted by sight.

The other difference between man and the animal kingdom is that in animals, the male is attracted to the female by smell. If you have ever had a female cat or dog as a pet you will know that when the female comes on heat, there is a smell they give out which attracts every male in the vicinity.

Now although perfume is usually considered mostly a female thing, the truth of the matter is that women are more attracted to a man by the way he smells than the other way around. In fact, most women wear perfume more for their own benefit than for the man. The smell makes them feel lovely and releases their femininity.

The verse above is an interesting one, because it shows that even in the time of Solomon, the aromatic oils that he wore as a cologne gave him a reputation amongst the ladies.

Cosmetic companies have discovered and try to major on a discovery that certain ingredients in a male cologne have a powerful effect on human females. They call them pheromones. I used to think that this was just a farce, but there is too much evidence that these substances do have an effect on women.

Of course the worldly approach is to advertise these products as a means to men obtaining sexual goals.

The sense of smell is a very selective thing, and each person has their own “smell template”. So do not assume that any cologne is acceptable. For both men and women, there is smell that becomes your personal signature or identity to your partner.

Do you have a template smell for your husband or wife? Is there a certain cologne or perfume that you love on your partner? You might find that whenever you smell that odor you think of your partner.

If you have not both identified your favorite kind of smell, then work on it, and find out which kind of smell your partner prefers. Then learn to use the sense of smell to draw closer to each other.

Perfume and cologne are not just something you put on to get rid of the smell of body odor, although that is a good reason to wear them. If you have a problem with smelling bad when you get hot and sweat, then you should always have some handy.

But the most wonderful thing about putting on something that smells nice is that it puts your partner in the mood for getting closer to you. And you will be amazed how a little cologne could get your wife to show more interest in sex.

Once you have found the smell your spouse likes, why not wear it often, and especially, why not wear it when you come to bed. You might find your love life suddenly becoming more exciting. The smell alone can put each of you in the mood for love.

Give it a try and see what happens. Especially you guys. Women are suckers for the right smell. Try it out on your wife.

Beauty and The Breast

Beauty and The Breast

Song of Solomon 8:10 I [am] a wall, and my breasts like towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour.(GMR)

Proverbs 5:18 Let your fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of your youth.
19 Like a loving deer and a graceful roe; let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and be intoxicated always with her love.(GMR)

What is it about a woman’s breasts that make them so special? Is it perhaps the fact that as a baby we found in them comfort, satisfaction and security? It is difficult to tell, but the fact still remains.

There is a power in the breasts that affects any man.

Why is it then that many women, as they mature and their breasts begin to show, tend to hide them away instead of showing them forth proudly? Is it a sinful thing for a woman to display the assets that the Lord has given to her?

Certainly to do so in a way that stirs up lust and wrong desires in a man is not something a Christian woman should be doing. For a married woman this part of her body is reserved especially for her husband.

But for the single woman, it is one of her greatest beauty assets, and a shapely figure which displays the curves of her breasts is one thing that will surely draw attention from members of the opposite sex. It is the way God made us.

For those who are married, you should never try to put down the importance of the woman’s breasts. And as a wife you should not see your husband’s desire to fondle or caress your breasts as something simple. It is a very profound thing.

This act alone, like kissing, can bring a unity between a husband and wife in an almost magical way. If done correctly in tender love, it can be a very satisfying experience which greatly heightens your love making.

For a man, the very act of caressing his wife’s breast can bring forth a deep satisfaction that can melt away his cares and make him feel like a little baby again, resting securely in his mother’s arms. It touches a deep need that many other things cannot do. And it can take place without a word being said.

For a woman, there can be both a sensation of pleasure if her breasts are sensitive to being stimulated, and a sense of intimacy. When a woman lies in her husbands arms as he caresses her, she can experience a sense of protection and belonging, as she lies securely in his arms.

The woman in the Song of Solomon expresses her delight at this experience in the following verses:

Song of Solomon 2:6 His left hand [is] under my head, and his right hand embraces me.(GMR)

Song of Solomon 8:3 His left hand [should be] under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.(GMR)

But the passage that expresses clearest the effect that this has on the man, is the one that says:

“be intoxicated always with her love.”

This wonderful part of love making is better than getting high on alcohol. And it is something that a husband and wife should be enjoying frequently.

For many men, the experience is one of having an occasional sip of wine. This will never ever get you to a place of being intoxicated.

For many women, it is an uncomfortable experience, because they feel ‘used’ by their husbands instead of loved.

Why not learn to flow together in this. Imagine the wonderful experience if you both consider each other. The man is tender and loving as he caresses and fondles the breasts of his wife. The wife allows herself to bask in the pleasure of his touch.

As you do this together you will learn to meet each other’s needs in a special way that will draw you closer to each other than ever.

How often should you do it? Whenever you desire – as long as you are not in public, or you might draw the wrong attention. (smile)

The Language of Love

The Language of Love

Song of Solomon 1:15 You look so beautiful, my love; you are really lovely; your eyes are like doves.
16 You are not only handsome, my lover, but you are also charming: and our bed is green like a flourishing garden. (GMR)

What do you say to each other during moments of intimacy?

When you are in that place of being really close, and nobody else is around? When your feelings are a bit like you are drunk, and you allow yourself to move into a world of fantasy and pleasure, what comes out of your mouth?

When you play with a child you often say things in a way that sounds like a child. How often have you seen a grown man acting like a little child in order to entertain his little son or daughter?

So how do you talk when you are all alone with the one person who has the power to bring you into a place of pleasure and where you can just “be yourself”?

What words do you speak to your lover in the moments of intimacy? Or is it just a matter of satisfying your physical needs and then falling back to go to sleep, like a baby who has just had a good meal at the breast?

Then, what are the words that you would love to hear from the mouth of the one your love during those moments of intimacy? Most of us would never dare to demand or suggest what we expect our lover to say to us. But we all secretly hope to hear the words that will make us feel good about ourselves.

A lot of the time we say things that we would not say in normal conversation. That is ok. It is a time to whisper ‘sweet nothings’ to the one you adore. It is time to say some of the corny things you might never dare to say at other times.

How important are words? They have the power to change our desires and actions. Even the world knows this, and it is a well-known fact that a man will often use the same ‘pick up lines’ to get a woman to respond to him.

So what does your woman want to hear that will make her melt into your arms and submit herself willingly to your advances? What will make her think that you are the most wonderful man in the world?

And what does your man want to hear that will make him want to go out and conquer the world for you? What will make him think that you are most wonderful woman he has ever known?

Solomon gives us many different examples in the Song of Solomon. It is amazing to hear what the loving couple say to each other. Some of the things sound really corny and weird, and perhaps we do not understand because we did not live during that time.

But the clearest words of all are to be found in the passage above. Here you see the intimate expressions of love of both the woman and the man to each other.

The husband tells his wife that she is beautiful. Every woman needs to hear this. Nobody really feels beautiful in themselves. And yes, it is true that she is not the most beautiful woman in the world. She knows that she is full of flaws. But she wants to be lovely in the eyes of the one she loves.

Must you lie to say this to her? Are you lying when you tell her she is the most beautiful woman in the world, when it is clear that there are millions of more beautiful woman all around you? Not at all, because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And to you she should indeed be the most beautiful woman in the world.

To you, her voice should be the most beautiful sound you have ever heard. There should be at least one thing about her looks that really impresses you. And if you have to really look you will find something.

To Solomon it was clearly the eyes of his lover that impressed him the most. We are not sure what he meant when he said her eyes were like doves. But obviously it was a big compliment to her, because she responded positively back to him.

Is it only a woman who needs to be told that she is lovely? No, a man would also like to think that to his wife he is a pretty good looking guy, and that she sees in him things that she does not see in other men.

The woman here tells her man that she thinks he is both good looking and charming. And then she makes a reference to their bed being green like a flourishing garden. This was her way of saying, “You are the most wonderful lover.” And this, to a man, can be the highest possible compliment.

Every man would like to think that the way he makes love to his wife is special. He would like her to think that he is the most wonderful lover in the world. And of course the truth of the matter is that he is likely nowhere near the image of the great lover. We will see later how you can change this.

But there is something in a man that makes him want to do everything in his power to make his woman happy. He will climb the highest mountain if she inspires him to do so. And her words to him can ignite a fire in him that is not easily quenched.

Are you unhappy about your love making experience? Has it become boring, and something you just do to satisfy your animal cravings? Or it is a time of pleasure far greater than any other experience in life?

If you want to bring things to life, try choosing words of blessing and admiration. Find something in your lover that you really admire and cherish, and tell it to them continually. If you feel a bit awkward doing this that is ok. But if you go ahead and do it anyway, you will soon find that you become more comfortable with it, and you really mean it from your heart.

And the end result? You might just find that your spouse gets to enjoy it so much that they want to do it more often. And instead of begging and pleading for your marital rights, you might find yourself drowning in a wonderful pool of daily love making that makes your marriage a true heaven on earth.

So what do you say?

Try saying some things and see what happens.

The Power of a Kiss

The Power of a Kiss

Song of Solomon 1:2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for your love [is] better than wine. (GMR)

Song of Solomon 4:11 Your lips, O [my] bride, drop [as] the honeycomb: honey and milk [are] under your tongue; and the fragrance of your garments [is] like the smell of Lebanon. (GMR)

You see them everywhere!

The young lovers who walk around holding hands, giving each other a hug, and every now and then stopping to kiss briefly.

Perhaps such signs of public affection make you feel uncomfortable. Perhaps you have forgotten how wonderful it was to be in love for the first time.

The question I would like to ask you now is this: “How often do you and your spouse kiss each day?”

Do you give a quick goodbye kiss in the morning? A hello kiss when he gets home in the evening?

The second question I would like to ask is: “What kind of kisses do you give each other?”

Are they just a quick pressing of the lips together, or is there a greater interaction between you when you join your lips?

Does that kiss still excite you and send shivers down your spine? Does it still make you feel like you are floating on the clouds?

Solomon told us here in the Song of Solomon that kisses are better than wine. Well what is so good about wine? It is not only the smooth, sweet taste of a good wine that you enjoy, but the wonderful feeling it gives you as the contents get into your blood.

When is the last time you got “high” on the kisses of the one you love? Do you spend time expressing your love in this way until you begin to feel light headed?

How should you kiss? What is the right way to do it? Do you have to ‘get it right’ to show what a wonderful lover you are?

The maiden in the passage above simply says that she loves the kisses of the mouth of her lover. They make her high like wine, only much better. Does this give you the impression of a quick peck on the lips? It sounds to me like a whole lot of kisses repeated over and over until the emotions soar.

The man expresses his impressions in more detail. He says that her lips are like honeycomb. Have you ever tried to eat honey from the comb? You have to really suck it out if you do not want to chew the wax.

He describes her lips like honeycomb dripping with honey, and then he also describes her tongue as having milk and honey under it. So here it is then folks. Scriptural proof that “French kissing” which involves using the tongue while kissing has been around for some time, and is even in the Bible.

It seems the man was also turned on by the smell of his wife’s perfume, because he spoke about the smell of her garments. So if you want to impress your husband, it seems that a good open mouth and nice perfume are all he needs to get high on your love.

What does the woman want from her man? Some real tenderness expressed in loving kisses from his mouth. There are some other things also which help, but we will talk about that another time.

We will be looking at a lot more from the Song of Solomon, and perhaps you will be stirred to really experience the fullness of the passion and physical love that the Lord has created for you in marriage.

But for today, why not try just this one simple little thing:

Kiss your spouse more often. There is an old expression that says “actions speak louder than words”. One of the most powerful actions you can carry out to express your love and to tell your husband or wife that you love them, is to be found in this simple act.

Get kissing more today. It will change your marriage.

Giving Up Your Rights

Giving Up Your Rights



Philippians 2:4 Everyone should not be just paying attention to his own interests, but also to the needs of others.
5 You should have the same attitude that was in Christ Jesus:
6 He had the very essence of God but did not claim His right to be equal to God.:
7 Instead He emptied Himself and assumed the role of a servant, taking on the image of a mere man.
8 And having identified himself as man, he humbled himself, and became obedient to the point of death; death by crucifixion. (GMR)

Claiming your rights seems to be one of the most important things for most people. They will fight to the bitter end just to defend their rights.

But Jesus showed what we should be doing with our rights. He had probably the greatest rights that anyone could have. He had the right to be honored as God. But He gave us His rights out of love for us, so that we could be blessed and happy.

Consider now the rights that you have in your marriage. As a husband or wife you have certain marital rights, which you could legally demand. But does this show your spouse how much you love them? Does this make your spouse want to spend the rest of their life with you?

Just think of what each one of us have gained from Jesus giving up His rights to come and die for us. And in the end He benefited from it too. He was exalted above all things to the right hand of God. And now he has us as His Body, to make Him complete.

Do you realize that without your spouse you are not complete? That is why you got married in the first place. So if you would like to make your spouse the happiest person around, and at the same time benefit from the best marriage ever, here is what you must do.

LEARN TO GIVE UP YOUR RIGHTS!

Here is a simple project for you to do for the next week. Each day when something happens where you feel that you have a right to something, try giving up that right.

For example, if your spouse wants you to do something and you feel you have the right to refuse. Why not try submitting to their desire and giving up your right?

I am not just talking about the wife submitting here. In fact it could be the complete opposite. It could be that the husband has a right to demand submission from his wife, but this time he lets her do what she wants to do.

You might not even be able to think about what you consider to be a right. But after a week of looking out for it, you can start to make a list of the things you believe you have a right to. You might be amazed to find that any conflicts in your marriage have actually come every time a right is violated.

And of course, most important of all. This is not a one way thing. It is no use just one partner giving up their rights. Unless you both do it, the marriage will become one sided and selfish, and nobody will be happy.

Give it a try and see what happens.