The Language of Love

The Language of Love

Song of Solomon 1:15 You look so beautiful, my love; you are really lovely; your eyes are like doves.
16 You are not only handsome, my lover, but you are also charming: and our bed is green like a flourishing garden. (GMR)

What do you say to each other during moments of intimacy?

When you are in that place of being really close, and nobody else is around? When your feelings are a bit like you are drunk, and you allow yourself to move into a world of fantasy and pleasure, what comes out of your mouth?

When you play with a child you often say things in a way that sounds like a child. How often have you seen a grown man acting like a little child in order to entertain his little son or daughter?

So how do you talk when you are all alone with the one person who has the power to bring you into a place of pleasure and where you can just “be yourself”?

What words do you speak to your lover in the moments of intimacy? Or is it just a matter of satisfying your physical needs and then falling back to go to sleep, like a baby who has just had a good meal at the breast?

Then, what are the words that you would love to hear from the mouth of the one your love during those moments of intimacy? Most of us would never dare to demand or suggest what we expect our lover to say to us. But we all secretly hope to hear the words that will make us feel good about ourselves.

A lot of the time we say things that we would not say in normal conversation. That is ok. It is a time to whisper ‘sweet nothings’ to the one you adore. It is time to say some of the corny things you might never dare to say at other times.

How important are words? They have the power to change our desires and actions. Even the world knows this, and it is a well-known fact that a man will often use the same ‘pick up lines’ to get a woman to respond to him.

So what does your woman want to hear that will make her melt into your arms and submit herself willingly to your advances? What will make her think that you are the most wonderful man in the world?

And what does your man want to hear that will make him want to go out and conquer the world for you? What will make him think that you are most wonderful woman he has ever known?

Solomon gives us many different examples in the Song of Solomon. It is amazing to hear what the loving couple say to each other. Some of the things sound really corny and weird, and perhaps we do not understand because we did not live during that time.

But the clearest words of all are to be found in the passage above. Here you see the intimate expressions of love of both the woman and the man to each other.

The husband tells his wife that she is beautiful. Every woman needs to hear this. Nobody really feels beautiful in themselves. And yes, it is true that she is not the most beautiful woman in the world. She knows that she is full of flaws. But she wants to be lovely in the eyes of the one she loves.

Must you lie to say this to her? Are you lying when you tell her she is the most beautiful woman in the world, when it is clear that there are millions of more beautiful woman all around you? Not at all, because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And to you she should indeed be the most beautiful woman in the world.

To you, her voice should be the most beautiful sound you have ever heard. There should be at least one thing about her looks that really impresses you. And if you have to really look you will find something.

To Solomon it was clearly the eyes of his lover that impressed him the most. We are not sure what he meant when he said her eyes were like doves. But obviously it was a big compliment to her, because she responded positively back to him.

Is it only a woman who needs to be told that she is lovely? No, a man would also like to think that to his wife he is a pretty good looking guy, and that she sees in him things that she does not see in other men.

The woman here tells her man that she thinks he is both good looking and charming. And then she makes a reference to their bed being green like a flourishing garden. This was her way of saying, “You are the most wonderful lover.” And this, to a man, can be the highest possible compliment.

Every man would like to think that the way he makes love to his wife is special. He would like her to think that he is the most wonderful lover in the world. And of course the truth of the matter is that he is likely nowhere near the image of the great lover. We will see later how you can change this.

But there is something in a man that makes him want to do everything in his power to make his woman happy. He will climb the highest mountain if she inspires him to do so. And her words to him can ignite a fire in him that is not easily quenched.

Are you unhappy about your love making experience? Has it become boring, and something you just do to satisfy your animal cravings? Or it is a time of pleasure far greater than any other experience in life?

If you want to bring things to life, try choosing words of blessing and admiration. Find something in your lover that you really admire and cherish, and tell it to them continually. If you feel a bit awkward doing this that is ok. But if you go ahead and do it anyway, you will soon find that you become more comfortable with it, and you really mean it from your heart.

And the end result? You might just find that your spouse gets to enjoy it so much that they want to do it more often. And instead of begging and pleading for your marital rights, you might find yourself drowning in a wonderful pool of daily love making that makes your marriage a true heaven on earth.

So what do you say?

Try saying some things and see what happens.