Saturday, February 27, 2010

Giving Up Your Rights


Giving Up Your Rights



Philippians 2:4 Everyone should not be just paying attention to his own interests, but also to the needs of others.
5 You should have the same attitude that was in Christ Jesus:
6 He had the very essence of God but did not claim His right to be equal to God.:
7 Instead He emptied Himself and assumed the role of a servant, taking on the image of a mere man.
8 And having identified himself as man, he humbled himself, and became obedient to the point of death; death by crucifixion. (GMR)

Claiming your rights seems to be one of the most important things for most people. They will fight to the bitter end just to defend their rights.

But Jesus showed what we should be doing with our rights. He had probably the greatest rights that anyone could have. He had the right to be honored as God. But He gave us His rights out of love for us, so that we could be blessed and happy.

Consider now the rights that you have in your marriage. As a husband or wife you have certain marital rights, which you could legally demand. But does this show your spouse how much you love them? Does this make your spouse want to spend the rest of their life with you?

Just think of what each one of us have gained from Jesus giving up His rights to come and die for us. And in the end He benefited from it too. He was exalted above all things to the right hand of God. And now he has us as His Body, to make Him complete.

Do you realize that without your spouse you are not complete? That is why you got married in the first place. So if you would like to make your spouse the happiest person around, and at the same time benefit from the best marriage ever, here is what you must do.

LEARN TO GIVE UP YOUR RIGHTS!

Here is a simple project for you to do for the next week. Each day when something happens where you feel that you have a right to something, try giving up that right.

For example, if your spouse wants you to do something and you feel you have the right to refuse. Why not try submitting to their desire and giving up your right?

I am not just talking about the wife submitting here. In fact it could be the complete opposite. It could be that the husband has a right to demand submission from his wife, but this time he lets her do what she wants to do.

You might not even be able to think about what you consider to be a right. But after a week of looking out for it, you can start to make a list of the things you believe you have a right to. You might be amazed to find that any conflicts in your marriage have actually come every time a right is violated.

And of course, most important of all. This is not a one way thing. It is no use just one partner giving up their rights. Unless you both do it, the marriage will become one sided and selfish, and nobody will be happy.

Give it a try and see what happens.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Light That Fire Within!


Light That Fire Within!

by Daphne Crause

Human nature is strange! Something that means the world to you at the beginning, will suddenly no longer mean the same to you after a while.

Let me give you an example. Supposing you have earnestly desired to buy a Cadillac for years! You’ve thought about it and dreamed about it, and suddenly the time comes for you to get your hands on one. You’re so excited! You think it is the best thing that has ever happened to you! You feel big and important and just want to drive around in it at every possible moment!

But things begin to change. After a few month, suddenly the novelty and the feeling of being so special, begins to wear off. It is no longer so important to you, and you begin to take it for granted. When you need to go somewhere you just get in the Cadillac and drive. Hey, it’s your car. It’s what you drive. It’s nothing special! Now you are probably aiming for something better again.

Why am I talking about driving elite cars on this marriage course? Because just like you can earnestly desire a car, a house or an overseas trip, the chances are you felt the same way about meeting and marrying your husband or wife. You really desired him or her badly, and you felt unfulfilled until you met each other.

When you finally met and began to date, life became wonderful! You felt like you were walking around in heaven! Your heart’s desire was fulfilled. You were in love, and you felt like you could never live your life in any other way!

But then what happens? Reality hits in! Pressures of life come upon both of you, maybe some kids arrive on the scene, and things are not quite the way they were before. You don’t feel the same excitement you did before, when your spouse phoned or arrived back from work or a business trip. You become busy with your life and go on your way, and while most of the time you are happy enough, often that spark has gone!

So How Do You Get That Spark Back?

It’s really not difficult to do. I want to propose a little test to you, which will very likely amaze you as you look at the results! You need to do it:

1) Especially if you are unhappy in your marriage and are struggling through it

2) If you are relatively happy, but there is no real excitement, and you are taking your spouse for granted

In other words:

Everyone Needs To Do This Test!

How do you do it? It’s simple:

Each of you must take a piece of paper and a pen. Now, sit down and begin to write down everything that you love about your spouse! When you first met him or her, what was it that made you get butterflies in your stomach when you just saw him or her? List everything that you can think of – what you loved in the past and what you love now.

When you dated, did she always wear that beautiful perfume that made her smell so gorgeous and feminine? After you met him, did you love the way he always encouraged you after a bad day’s work? Did you love the way she smiled at you when you were feeling stressed, and made the sun shine in your life? Did you love the way he was such a gentleman and made you feel so special when you went on a date?

Once you have written everything down, then hand the sheet of paper to your spouse and let them read how you see them. You may be amazed to find little things and habits about you that you didn’t know were appealing to your spouse!

What is the point of this exercise?

Firstly, you will remind yourself of all of those special things in your spouse that you have probably forgotten about or taken for granted. You will begin to stir up exciting and positive emotions about your spouse once again. You will begin to see them in a different way, and will see what a special person the Lord has given to you!

The exercise can also lead you to begin communicating more! You may find yourself really opening up to your spouse and pouring out more that is in your heart that you feel about him or her. Just remember one thing: Keep it positive! You are not having a slinging match and telling all the negative things about your spouse. No, rather you are investing in the positive side of your marriage instead.

Be richly blessed in your marriage today!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Marriage Roles


Marriage Roles

Have you ever taken part in a play at some time in your life? It can be a fun experience, but it can also be a very difficult experience if you do not learn your part properly.

I am sure you know of at least one occasion where someone forgot their lines, and everyone was waiting for them to do their part. If this ever happened to you, then you probably still think back on that time with embarrassment.

Sometimes you even get confusion, where one person ends up saying someone else’s lines instead of their own.

Marriage is a lot like a play. Each person has a part to play, and if both of them do their part right, the play is a success. But if one person fails to play their part, or tries to play the part of the other, then there is confusion and conflict.

What I am going to look at in this study, is the roles that a husband and wife should play in a marriage according to the Scriptures.

Unfortunately most of us learn about marriage by watching our parents and other marriage couples, or the way we see marriage pictured on TV. What you think is right for a husband or wife to do or not do could be completely different to what God says.

So let’s see exactly what the Bible tells us should be the role of each person in the marriage. When you have finished reading this lesson, I want you to sit down and take a good hard look at yourself and see if you really are fulfilling your marriage role correctly.

And even more important is whether you have perhaps not only failed to carry out your marriage role, but you have taken over and carried out some of the roles of your spouse. This is one of the greatest causes of problems, not only in a marriage, but also in a family when children come along.

Scriptures on Marriage Roles

1 Corinthians 14:34 Let your wives remain silent in the churches: for it is not permitted to them to speak; but [they are commanded] to be under obedience, as also the law says.
35 And if they want to learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for wives to speak in the church. (GMR)

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the [rhema] word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother, and will be joined to his wife, and the two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband. (GMR)

Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love [your] wives, and be not bitter against them.(GMR)

1 Timothy 3:11 Even so [must their] wives [be] grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.
12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.(GMR)

Titus 2:1 But you speak the things that are fitting for sound doctrine:
2 That the older men be sober, grave, self-controlled, sound in faith, in [agape] love, in endurance.
3 The older women likewise, in a demeanor that reflects holiness, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine, teachers of good things;
4 That they may disciple the young women, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 [To be] self-controlled, chaste, homemakers, pleasant, subject to their own husbands, that the word of God is not slandered. (GMR)

1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, you wives, [be] in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conduct of the wives;
2 While they observe your chaste conduct [coupled] with fear.
3 Whose beauty aids should not be an emphasis on the external, such as plaiting the hair, wearing of gold, or putting on of clothing;
4 But rather the hidden qualities of the heart, which cannot be corrupted; a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands:
6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters you are, as long as you do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
7 Likewise, you husbands, dwell with your wives in an understanding way, assigning value to her femininity, as a weaker instrument, and as being heirs together of the grace of [zoe] life; that your prayers are not hindered. (GMR)

1 Timothy 3:1 This [is] a true saying, Whoever desires the office of an overseer, desires a good work.
2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;
4 One that rules well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;
5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) (GMR)

The Role of the Husband

The Scriptures are very clear on the role of the husband in marriage. I will list them here, and you can compare this with the Scriptures above to confirm that this is God’s order.

1. Teach his wife

The husband is to be the instructor of his wife. This does not mean that wives are ignorant, but it means that a husband should not keep things from his wife.

The husband and wife are a partners together, and there should be nothing hidden from each other. They should share in everything. Men often keep their wives ignorant on things that they do not consider important. This can often cause a block in communication in the marriage.

2. Head of his wife

The husband is to be head in the home, and the leader in the marriage. The mistake that many married couples make is looking at natural leadership capabilities. Often the wife is a better natural leader than the husband, and it is easier to let her take control.

When a husband does this he violates his responsibility and role in the home and brings not only confusion, but also the possibility of attack. When the husband remains the head of the home, his family is protected from attack.

3. The Savior of his wife

The husband is to be the protector and provider in the home. His wife rests under his protection, and is safe from attack. When a wife has problems and needs help, she should be able to look first to her husband to save her from her difficulties.

Paul said that Jesus was head of the church, but also its Savior. He gave His life for our protection and salvation. The husband should be prepared to do the same for his wife.

4. Love his wife like Christ loved the church

God commands the husband specifically to love his wife. This means that it is the responsibility of the husband to bring love into the home. If love is missing, then he is held responsible for this.

Jesus loves the Church unconditionally. A husband must be as Christ to his wife, and show her what true unconditional love is.

5. Give himself for her then he can perfect her

The husband is to make his wife perfect. But before he can do that he must be prepared to sacrifice all for her, as Jesus did for the church.

When a husband loves in this way, he not only earns the right to address things in his wife, but he automatically releases the power of God to work in her and make her into the perfect wife.

The key to changing your wife is therefore to give up all for her, and to sacrifice yourself completely for her good.

6. Love her as his own body

If your body is in pain, you attend to it right away. If you body has a need or desire, you tend to take care of it first.

The husband is to love his wife in this way, and so demonstrate the love of Jesus. A simple guideline would be to make sure that you give your wife as much attention as you give to your body. That includes all bodily desires as well as needs.

7. Leave his parents and be joined to his wife

This is a major area of failure in husbands.

A wife generally finds it easy to leave her parents and be joined to her husband. She should have left her mother long ago to come under her father’s influence before leaving home. Now she simply moves out from under her father to being under her husband.

For the husband this is not so easy. He has moved out from under his parents authority, but instead of coming under a new authority, he must himself become the authority. Most men fail here and still go back to mommy and daddy for advice.

NOT A GOOD IDEA!

Grow up and put your wife first from now on. You are partners now in something new. Parents can only give advice, which you must both agree on before you accept it.

8. Love and do not be bitter against his wife

Love must be unconditional like the love of God. When a husband allows anger and bitterness to rule his heart, he not only fails to provide the right covering, he damages the marriage.

Bitterness is an open door to a curse in the home and the marriage. So when things start to go wrong, before you go blaming your wife, take a look at your beam first and see if you are not the cause of it.

9. Treat his wife like a lady

Ephesians 5:7 Likewise, you husbands, dwell with your wives in an understanding way, assigning value to her femininity, as a weaker instrument, and as being heirs together of the grace of [zoe] life; that your prayers are not hindered.(GMR)

Paul says that a husband should highly value his wife’s femininity, and her weakness as a woman. Your wife should always be treated with tenderness and appreciation. She is a special gift from the Lord, and your partner in life.

When a husband allows his wife to be his partner in the marriage, then there is a unity that results in powerful answers to prayer.

11. A One-Woman Man

Although it is in the nature of a man to appreciate the beauty of other women, he should never try to compare his wife with others. To him she must be the most lovely woman in the world.

When a husband is truly a one woman man, he will pour everything into his wife and she will rise up and compliment him in all things. He should always be proud to present his wife to the world and to boast about her to others.

12. Has the children under control, not his wife

A husband is meant to be the head of the home and to have his children under control. This does not mean he should do his wife the same as though she is one of the children.

Although the husband is the leader in the partnership, it is still a partnership. A husband who bosses his wife around or tries to be superior to her or talk down to her is not showing the model of Christ to the church.

It is not for you to control you wife through a strong will. It is for you to influence your wife through tender love and consideration and understanding.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Rebuilding Your Marriage Fantasies


Rebuilding Your Marriage Fantasies

If you were given the power to change your marriage, what would you change?

What if like in the fairy stories you read as a child, the Fairy Godmother were to come to you and grant you three wishes for your marriage. What would you wish for?

* Would you wish for more money?
* Would you wish you could live somewhere else?
* Would you wish for a change in career?
* Would you wish for better physical qualities in yourself?
* Would you wish for a change in your spouse?
* Would you wish for more freedom?
* Would you wish to be marriage to someone else?

I want you to think about what pictures you have in your mind about what will make a perfect marriage. This should not be difficult to do, because you had those pictures in your mind when you were still single.

But now you are married, and I am sure that you found marriage was not what you expected it to be. All of those pictures that you had in your mind did not come to pass the way you expected them to.

Perhaps some of them did. Perhaps your spouse was all that you had hoped for. Perhaps he was tall dark and handsome, or whatever you imagined he would be like. Perhaps she was sexy and feminine just like you imagined your wife would be.

But after the wedding you found out things that you did not realize or see before. These things were not in your fantasy picture of what it would be like to be married.

Perhaps you saw other marriages that failed. Maybe you looked at your own parents and saw the problems that they had in their marriage. And you decided that your marriage was not going to be like that. You decided that you would never be like the other bad marriages you have seen.

But now as you look at your own marriage, you realize that you have fallen into the same trap, and your marriage is really no better than those whom you despised in the past.

Perhaps you expected your marriage to be like what you saw in your parents and other happy marriages. But it did not work out that way. You do not see your spouse behaving like you saw in your parents’ marriage.

The truth of the matter is that fantasy and reality very seldom come together into the same picture. And all the wonderful things that you imagined would happen when you got married just did not happen.

Ok that is the bad news. Now here is the good news.

You Can Change Your Marriage

There is something that you can do to change this. You can make your marriage a happy one like you had imagined it would be. You can create all the things that you had imagined and longed for. It is never too late.

I want you to hold onto your hope. Keep the picture clearly in your mind of what you earnestly desire your marriage to be. Do not allow yourself to be moved by what you see in reality, but continue to see in your heart the picture of the good marriage.

If you cannot think of what a good marriage should look like, then see if you can find another married couple who you think are living the kind of marriage you would like to have. Then use their marriage to create a picture of what you would really like in your marriage.

Once you have decided on how you want your marriage to look, you must present this picture to the Lord. You cannot ask Him to work in your situation unless you have a clear picture of what you desire.

To help you with this, try writing down all the things that you would like to see in your marriage. Words will help you to paint a clear picture of what you desire. Then read what you have written over several times, and make changes where you see you maybe left something out.

Once you have completed this, try reading out loud what you have written. When you begin to actually speak the words out loud, you will begin to see some pictures in your mind that will help you to see more clearly what you desire your marriage to be.

Imagine that you are to write a story about your marriage, and they are going to make this story into a movie. See very clearly how this movie would portray your happy marriage. Imagine yourself playing the role of you in the movie as an actor or actress.

You see, the main reason your marriage is not like your fantasy, is not because your fantasy was impossible. It is because you have stopped seeing the picture of what you desire. And now you have given up hope that your marriage could be like that. You have just accepted that in the real world, things like that do not happen.

THIS IS NOT TRUE!

Things like that can happen. And they will happen if you desire them strongly enough, and if you are able to believe that the Lord can work in your situation to bring the changes that are needed.

I am going to show you more in the next study about how to change your marriage and make it into the marriage of your dreams. But before I can take you to the next step, you must first do the project that I have given you here.

Write down what your marriage should look like. Write a story of a wonderful marriage, and put into it everything you ever desired for your marriage. Do not hold back anything. Include everything that you have desired, even the secret desires that you have perhaps never told your spouse about.

Then read it each day until that picture is very clear in your mind. But do not show it to your spouse yet. I will tell you later when it is time to show your desires to your spouse. For now, it is only between you and the Lord.

When we share again, I expect you to be very clear in your mind what you desire, and then I will show you how to begin to make your desires come true.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Bliss of Freedom (Part 2)


The Bliss of Freedom (Part 2)



Here is where the story ended last time…



Suddenly there was the sound of someone blowing their horn loudly and often.



“Who the heck is playing with their horn?” she said angrily. “Some people are so rude!”



Putting her foot on the accelerator she shot back to leave the parking, but felt the car come to a sudden halt with a loud bang. All she heard was the sound of broken glass and crunching metal.



Now for the conclusion…



Turning around to see what had happened, she saw that she had reversed into a huge truck that was behind her. “Oh Lord, no!” Sarah cried. “What have I done?”



She pulled forward quickly again, switched off the car and sat there shaking for a moment. It was as though her whole body froze in fear and she couldn’t move for a few seconds.



Colleen took control and said, “Come, we’d better go and see what damage you caused.” Then looking at Sarah with love and concern for her she said, “I’m sure it’ll be okay. Just keep calm.”



They got out of the car and walked around to see what had happened. As they got to the back of the car they were met by a big, well-built man, who was glaring angrily at them.



“What were you thinking lady?” asked the man angrily. “When you hear car’s honking their horns don’t you pay attention? I could see you reversing and I tried to stop, but I could not do it. You had reversed into me already. This is a brand new truck! I hope for your sake that you’re insured!”



“I’m terribly sorry sir,” Sarah said weakly. “I don’t know what happened. I honestly didn’t see you. Is your car badly damaged?”



They examined both cars together to see what damage had been caused. The front right-hand bumper and light on his big truck was smashed, and part of the grill next to it was dented. Allan’s car had the same sort of damages, except it was on the back right-hand side, and the bottom of the trunk was dented in too. Sarah’s heart sank as she saw the mess that she had caused.



“We are insured,” Sarah said, very thankful for that fact. “I know that it’s a horrible inconvenience to you, but we’ll make sure that all the damages are repaired. I am so terribly sorry Sir, I really didn't see you." Then she could not contain herself any longer and the tears began to flow freely.



The owner of the car ignored this outburst of emotion and said abruptly, “I’ll have to call the police to get all the details and file an official report.” Looking through a phone book he retrieved from the glove compartment of his car, he found a number and picked up his cell phone to make the call.



Sarah went back to the car to find some tissues to wipe her eyes. Her stomach felt like it had been pulled out, her heart was beating fast and hard, and she felt like throwing up. She didn’t say a word to Colleen, but just sat there waiting anxiously. Suddenly she remembered that she had their cell phone with her.



“Perhaps I’d better phone Allan,” she thought. “He’s probably going to kill me anyway. Maybe I’d better let him know that I’m okay, and tell him what’s happened. He was right! I should have listened to him! Why am I so stupid?” Then the tears began to flow again as she thought of how stupid she had been.



She dialed the number, waiting anxiously for his response on the other end. But to her frustration all she got was a recorded message from the cell phone company to say that she had run out of money on the card. She could not get through to Allan.



“Argh!” she said, frustrated. “Everything is going wrong today! Nothing is working out! I can’t take this anymore! I’ve just really messed up so badly. Colleen, what am I going to do? Allan’s probably going to want to divorce me! I don’t know how to make it right.”



Tears welled up in her eyes as she realized that she was in deep trouble and that it was her own fault that she was in this situation. She felt convicted and totally sinful, and could see what Allan had been trying to get across to her earlier in the day, but she hadn’t listened to him.



“Why am I so stupid?” she cried. “Oh Lord, please help me. I realize that I’ve messed up, but I don’t know how to make it right. Please give me favor with Allan too, and help me to make it up to him. Thank you Jesus.”



After a few minutes she got out of the car again, and went to go and talk to the person whose truck she had hit. He was waiting outside until the police arrived. He looked at her as she came towards him, and she looked so pitiful that he softened for a moment towards her.



“What’s your name?” he asked.



“Sarah. Sarah Bradley,” she replied. “And this is my friend Colleen,” she said pointing to her. “What’s your name?”



“I’m Craig Ferguson,” he said, then he put out his hand to shake their hands. “Pleased to meet you – although it’s not in the best of circumstances,” he said with a half-hearted smile. “Anyway, the police will be here soon, then we can put this matter to sleep. If I didn’t want to get the insurance company to repair the damages I wouldn’t even worry about calling the police. But they will need the details. Hey,” he said encouraging them, “the damages aren’t as bad as they look. It’ll be easy enough to fix.”



Sarah smiled a little for the first time since the ordeal and said, “Thank you for being so understanding Craig. I feel like an absolute idiot!”



Many silent minutes went by before they saw the blinking lights and siren that signaled the arrival of the police. Then followed the usual red tape of answering questions and being interrogated which normally goes with events such as this.



Sarah was fortunate that everything she needed was in the car, and she didn’t have to get hold of Allan for anything. She was relieved when it was all over and they could finally go their separate ways.



When the police had left, Craig turned to her and said, “Now you take care!” Then he scribbled something on a piece of paper, and handing it to her he said, “Here’s my telephone number if you need anything else from me.”



“Thank you!” Sarah said. “You’ve been really gracious. I hope that I can somehow repay you for all the trouble I’ve caused you.”



He just smiled and said, “It’s okay. Just be careful and don’t mess up again! And I also need to be careful not to come forward too quickly when a car is reversing.”



As he rode off, Sarah and Colleen got back into the car to go back home. Sarah just had one goal in mind now – to get back to the safety of her home and to the comfort of Allan’s arms. He was always there for her, even when she messed up. As she thought about everything that had happened, she realized that she had just taken his love and care for granted.



“You know Colleen,” Sarah said after a while, “I thought that escaping from the house and running away for a few hours on my own would be so awesome. But what a deception it was! All it did was produce a huge amount of pressure – and for what? I’ve been so stupid! I’ve taken Allan for granted and not submitted to him. I just thought he was being a dominating, horrible husband, but he was taking the lead for my good! That freedom I desired just put me into bondage!”



Colleen sat thinking for a moment, and then she said, “You’re right you know. I think I do the same with Paul. I also rebel and kick and scream at him, but if I think about it, it has also caused me problems. Wow, this is scary stuff! I guess we need to change our ideas a bit and let our husbands be the boss.”



They said nothing more until they reached Colleen’s house and pulled into her driveway.



“There you go,” Sarah said. “Hope you have a great evening. Please keep me in prayer that Allan doesn’t slaughter me! Hey,” she said, “don’t forget your stuff in the trunk. Can you bring mine out too at the same time please.”



Colleen took the two parcels out and passed Sarah hers.



“Be blessed,” she said. “It was great going out. Next time though, we’d better do it with our husband’s approval.”



Sarah waved good bye as she drove off and headed for their home. As she got closer and closer she became more and more anxious. By the time she arrived at their garage and used the remote control to open the door, her heart was pounding and she felt ill again.



“Lord,” she said, “I don’t care how much Allan moans at me and rebukes me. I make a resolve to listen to him from now on. I can’t undo the mess I’ve made. I just ask that you give me favor with him. Thank you Jesus.”



The door opened up slowly and she pulled carefully into the garage. As she looked around she could see that Allan had been working again. There were piles of boxes, trash bags and bits and pieces everywhere. He wasn’t anywhere to be seen now.



“Oh good,” she thought. “He’s obviously upstairs. Maybe I can just delay telling him about the dent until he’s calmed down about me being late.”



However, as she was about to get out, she looked up and he was almost right at the car. He had a mixture of anger and concern on his face, and he looked at his watch as he walked towards the car.



“Where the heck have you been Sarah?” he asked loudly.



“I um… got a little bit delayed,” she said weakly as she got out. “I’m sorry honey. Did you sleep well?”



Avoiding her question he said, “You got delayed with what? Good grief, it’s almost five o’clock! What delayed you for almost four hours? You just wanted to go and quickly get some bread!”



“Well, I got it,” she said casually as though nothing was wrong. She realized that she hadn’t taken it out of the car yet, and went to get it off the front passenger seat. Then her heart sank as she realized that like a fool she had left the clothes packet there too.



“Oh no, please don’t come to the car with me,” she thought frantically, as Allan came with her.



He glanced into the side window and saw the bread and the parcel there.



“What is this?” he yelled. “So this was your delay! You deliberately went to town even when I said you couldn’t, didn’t you? You deliberately rebelled against me even when I said that I didn’t want you to go! What has got into you?”



He shook his head in despair, and Sarah began to sob loudly. She couldn’t keep quiet about everything any longer. He was yelling at her anyway, so she thought she would just let everything out and get it over with.



“Allan, you’re right!” she said, as she tried to gain her composure again. “I’m sorry. I did rebel against you. I thought that you were being so controlling and I just wanted some freedom. But you know what? That freedom just got me into a mess! I didn’t listen to you when you said you felt a thummim about it. And… I don’t know how to tell you this, but…”



Then she really began to sob, and she signaled to him to follow her to the back of the car.



“This happened while I was backing out of the parking at Markham’s… I should have listened to you… I understand if you want to divorce me. I just don’t know what to do. I’ve messed up so badly. I’m just terrible! Please forgive me...”



She blurted everything out quickly as though it would make it easier. Then she put her head on his chest, hugged him and just sobbed and let all the tension out.



Allan was speechless! He wanted to have a fit about the damage to his pride and joy, but he had also never ever seen Sarah so broken. Never before had he seen her acknowledge that she’d failed. Before she had always justified herself and made excuses. Now, when she was in this tight spot that she couldn’t escape from, she was seeing her failure and acknowledging it.



He put his arms round her and held her tight, then after a few minutes he said, “Of course I forgive you! I’m just pleased that you’re okay. I was really worried about you! I tried to call you on the cell phone, but it gave an error message and said that the card had expired.”



He then looked at her seriously and said, “I think that you’ve really learned a hard lesson here, but the Lord still had His hand on you. Now, let’s go upstairs and you can tell me the whole story. I want all the details please!” he said firmly.



They went to the kitchen and he made her a strong cup of sweet coffee to calm her nerves, then they went and sat on the settee in the lounge to drink it. For the first time in their marriage, she told him everything! And for the first time too, he really listened to her!



When she had finished he turned to her and said, “I’m so pleased you shared all this with me. I understand what happened now, and I realize that I’ve also been so wrong. I just don’t listen to you enough. You try and cry out to me when you’re under pressure, and I just think you’re being stupid. I’m always so busy with work and other things, that I’m not really there for you. No wonder you want to escape the pressure! I’m not meeting your needs properly. Honey, please forgive me for not being there enough for you. I really want to try and change it now. What a fool I’ve been too!”



A faint smile broke onto Sarah’s face and she said, “Of course I forgive you! Can we make a fresh start and just leave the past behind?”



“Why not,” Allan responded, then he put his arms around her and held her again.



“Love you Allan,” she said. Then softly she whispered, “Thank you Jesus! Thank you for answering my prayers and washing me clean!”