Not Now Please!

Not Now Please!

Janet woke up bright and early, feeling alert and energetic for once!

“Wow,” she thought, “this is wonderful! It’s like a dream come true and an answer to my prayers!”

For many weeks before she had been waking up late, feeling tired and weary even before the day started. Often she felt depressed as well. When she got out of bed it felt as though there was a heavy weight sitting on her back and slowing her down. But this morning everything was different! She felt as though someone had removed that heavy weight and she felt as light as a feather!

She stretched her arms and legs, then got up and went to the window to peep through the blinds. The sun had not yet risen, but the sky was a brilliant bright blue color, and there was not a cloud to be seen. What a beautiful sight it was!

As she turned away to look for some comfortable clothes to slip on, she stopped for a moment to look at her husband Andrew. He was sleeping peacefully like a baby. She stood watching him for a moment and smiled. His foot was moving slowly from side to side, and she could see the pupils of his eyes moving rapidly. He was clearly dreaming and releasing the pressure of the big workload he had been under the last few days.

“What a wonderful husband I have,” she thought to herself. “He’s just the best! He’s so loving and caring and tender! I wouldn’t trade him for anything in this world!”

She finished getting dressed, putting on make up and perfume, and then she felt like she could really start the day. She felt good! Leaving the bedroom quietly so that she didn’t wake Andrew up, she went and prepared her favorite morning snack of coffee and English muffins in the kitchen. As she waited for the coffee to brew she kept herself busy by tidying up a few things, and she suddenly found herself singing as she did it. That was amazing! It was something she hadn’t done in months!

Once her snack was made she went and sat outside on their little balcony on the swing seat they had just set up. What a beautiful view was before her! The mountains in the distance were just beginning to lighten up as the sun began to rise, and she felt a sense of peace and contentment. Everything was quiet except for a few birds that were twittering excitedly as they had an early morning bath in the birdbath nearby. Sitting and rocking gently on the swing she just relaxed and took in the peaceful moment.

“Today is going to be a good day!” she said to herself.

It seemed like she had sat there for a long time with her eyes closed. She was in her own little world, when she suddenly felt the seat of the swing move. Andrew came out quietly and sat down next to her.

“Hey, you’re up early!” he said in surprise. Then he gave her a big hug and kiss.

Janet smiled. “What a wonderful way to start the day! I got up early this morning. I woke up at sunrise and just feel so good. I know that today is going to be great! Want some breakfast?” she asked.

“Thanks, that’ll be great!”

Janet went inside and prepared one of his favorite quick meals. Then they sat down together on the porch to enjoy the cool of the day before starting off their work. They didn’t do much talking, but they just enjoyed each other’s presence. There was no need to talk a lot, because they felt comfortable in each other’s presence. After the meal was over Andrew went inside to go and start working. He worked from home on the Internet, so Janet was fortunate to have him around all the time. This had made their relationship very strong and close.

After washing the few dishes that were dirtied and cleaning the kitchen counters quickly, Janet went to her computer to do some writing that she had wanted to do for ages.

“Now, let’s see which one I should do first,” she said to herself. “Okay, let’s finish that article off. I feel a flow on it.”

She began to type away furiously as the thoughts poured into her head. She had been stuck on the middle of the article for a few weeks now, but suddenly she saw the pictures so clearly. Now she could complete the article at last!. She was just in a wonderful flow when Andrew came through the door and disturbed her thoughts.

“Jay,” he said, “I’m really tired of tripping over the network cable in the room. I want to sort it out today! Right now! We can’t carry on like this. We need to get this thing sorted out now. I want to change the bed to the other side of the room as we’ve discussed. Can you help me with it please!”

“Oh no!” she thought infuriated! Why now? I’m just getting into such a good flow. And I know that tone of voice he’s using. He’s in driver mode!” Then as if to encourage herself she thought, “Come on, just make the most of it. He’s your husband. Just submit to him and it’ll be fine. I’m determined not to be moved by this now. I will have the victory today!”

She stopped and looked at him. “Okay,” she said slowly, “but then can I get on with my writing please. I was just in a good flow there!”

She made it clear that she was not impressed.

“I’m sorry honey, it won’t take long. But we must do it now. We can’t carry on like this! Come, let’s go!”

A sense of irritation began to rise up in her already, and she had to fight the negative feelings inside of her. She followed him into the room and they began to move small items of furniture and other objects to the other side of the room. Then pushing and pulling little by little, they moved the bed to the opposite side of the room.

“Oh boy, look at the dust that was under the bed,” Andrew said. “Please get a broom and sweep it up quickly.”

“I hate that tone of voice!” she thought angrily. “It’s not what he says, but just somehow the way he says it makes me feel livid!”

Janet walked to the kitchen and got the broom, but clearly she was too slow for his liking.

“Hurry up! I haven’t got all day!” he snapped at her.

She didn’t say a word, but just gave him a look of real irritation. Then she snatched the broom and began sweeping quickly out of anger. She really didn’t feel like submitting to him now, and certainly the love that she had felt for him earlier seemed to be disappearing out of the door right at this moment.

Suddenly there was a crash as Andrew’s guitar fell to the floor.

“Oh no,” she thought in frustration. “I guess I let my anger get the better of me.”

“What are you doing?” he yelled at her. “Are you stupid? Can’t you watch what you’re doing? That’s a brand new guitar!”

“No I’m not stupid!” she snapped at him. “I didn’t see it behind me. I’m sorry,” she said softly. “It was an accident.”

Now it wasn’t just anger and resentment that she was feeling, but extreme sadness as well, and she felt a big lump welling up in her throat as she tried to hide it. She had always felt this in the past. She had never been able to show her emotions, but had hidden them inside, especially if she was upset about something. She had been having such victory over this problem lately, but now suddenly the past seemed to be creeping back. What was going on here?

Andrew grabbed the guitar and examined it to see if there were any damages to it. It seemed to be okay, but he took it out of the room anyway.

“You can go back and work again,” he said after a few minutes. “I’ll be okay to finish the rest.”

What a sorry sight they looked. They just stood staring at each other for a moment without saying anything. Then he looked at her and smiled. “Thank you honey,” he said, trying to truly show some appreciation, but it was really hard to not get angry with her. It just seemed to rise up in him without him even trying, but he really loved her so much.

Janet sighed. “Okay,” she said, then walked out of the room and went to the lounge. Sitting down on the soft sofa she said, “Argh! You’re just like my dad – always telling me I’m stupid!”

She pounded the pillow in an attempt to get her frustration out, then said, “Lord Jesus please help me! I feel like screaming! Please tell me what’s going on!”