Optimistic or Not?

Optimistic or Not?
By Gerald Chester www.strategieswork.com
Are you ready for 2010? Are you expecting it to be a great year? If so, what is the basis of your hope? Is it President Obama's declaration that the worst is behind us? Or perhaps you agree with some of the economic pundits who have declared that the recession is over. Maybe you found a good opportunity through the recession. Or perhaps you just want it to be over, so you are trying to “will it” into existence. Whatever your perspective, the question is, what is reality? Will 2010 be a year in which we move forward or will we regress?

For the purpose of our discussion, let's focus on economic matters. In particular, let's consider some of the salient aspects of the current economic environment of the United States (US).

* The US federal deficit is at an all-time high and expanding rapidly.
* The dollar continues to be weak relative to other currencies, which reflects the low level of confidence in the US's fiat money system and the lack of confidence in the US government's ability to manage its affairs.
* The balance of trade continues to be unfavorable, meaning that the US is a net importer. In our case, a major reason—if not the only reason—is that US manufacturing is not globally competitive.
* Being a net importer implies that the stimulus efforts may have done little to help domestic manufacturing; most of the money was probably exported in return for imported goods. Therefore few domestic jobs were created.
* True unemployment and underemployment is probably in the high teens and maybe even over 20 percent—approaching the levels of the Great Depression.
* Though interest rates are still low, there seems to be little economic activity as a result of the low cost of capital.
* The risk of inflation is increasing as the federal government's borrowing needs increase and investor confidence in the federal government decreases. This means that the cost for reissued and new federal debt will be higher, which will potentially increase the deficit.

Encouraging picture, right?

Notwithstanding these grim realities, some of the leading capitalists of our day are optimistic. Note, for example, Warren Buffett and Bill Gates who, in November 2009, were guests at a town hall–style venue at the Columbia School of Business. For one hour, students and faculty asked questions of these two venerated business magnates.

In watching the video of this meeting (http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232?play=1&video=1329393420), it was clear to me that Buffett and Gates are optimistic about the future. Interestingly, the above economic realities were barely mentioned, if at all; instead, they focused on history. Buffett and Gates attributed their positive outlook to their past successes and the historically positive environment for capitalism.

When asked about the greed on Wall Street, Buffett noted that greed has been around a long time, seeming to suggest it is no worse now than in the past. Furthermore, he suggested that the economy has a self-correcting mechanism—perhaps a reference to Adam Smith's invisible hand. Hence, Buffett seemed to view the current economic calamity as merely a self-correcting storm. To reinforce his optimism, Buffett even offered $100K for 10 percent of the future earnings of any student at the meeting—I am sure this was a hyperbole.

Buffett and Gates are widely regarded as two of the most successful people of our day; therefore if they are optimistic, should we be?

To respond, first we need to note a presupposition that Buffett and Gates seem to embrace about the relationship between physical and spiritual reality. Through the entire discussion I did not hear any statements that would clearly connect physical and spiritual reality. Buffett and Gates seem to assume that economics and business (i.e., physical reality) exist and operate independent of spiritual reality (i.e., God). It appears that Buffett and Gates operate under either a naturalistic presupposition or a deistic presupposition. A naturalist believes there is no God and therefore no spiritual reality. A deist believes there is a God who has created the universe and its rules, but that God does not interact or interfere with the universe; hence, everything happens according to the predetermined rules.

Interestingly in this discussion of economic matters, it matters little whether a person is a naturalist or a deist, the end result is the same. Relative to economics and business, in either worldview there is no connection between physical and spiritual reality, either because it does not exist or because it is not relevant.

One of the clear teachings of the Bible is that there is a connection between physical and spiritual reality. Consider the nation of Israel as an example.

Repeatedly throughout the Old Testament, Israel was told that obedience to God is the predicate for economic blessing and that disobedience leads to economic calamity (Deuteronomy 28). And indeed Israel's sin led to economic and political judgment. In fact, most of the Old Testament is devoted to this theme. There are few truths that are so emphasized in Scripture.

Some might object to using the Old Testament to provide guidance for economics and business in the New Testament era. May I point out that Jesus' Bible and the apostle Paul's Bible was the Old Testament. Furthermore, the apostle Paul wrote that the Old Testament provides examples for us (1 Corinthians 10:11)—examples to teach and train us in righteous living. Paul reinforced his view of the relevance of the Old Testament in his letter to Timothy when he said:

All Scripture [the Old Testament] is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. —2 Timothy 3:16–17 [NIV]

Hence, the Old Testament is a relevant source of revelation about God and His creation. And the Old Testament clearly teaches a strong correlation between spiritual and physical reality (for example, Psalm 1).

The connection between physical and spiritual reality can be expressed by two simple maxims:

* Obedience to God facilitates economic blessings.
* Disobedience to God leads to economic calamity.

The immediate objection to these maxims concerns the prosperity of the wicked. You probably know some wicked people who seem to prosper. Scripture makes it clear that the apparent prosperity of the wicked is only temporary (Psalm 73)—it is a “head fake,” to use a football analogy. The only way to enjoy enduring economic blessings is through obedience to God.

Neither Buffett nor Gates seems to understand this connection. The basis for their optimism is prior success. In the town hall discussion there was little conversation about the signs of the times noted above, much less their understanding of obedience to God.

In the Old Testament, God endured Israel's disobedience and repeatedly warned them that their disobedience would lead to judgment. Perhaps God's forbearance with Israel gave them a reason to question God's word; however, in the end, judgment came and part of the judgment was economic calamity.

Israel's root sin was idolatry. The God of the Bible claimed to be the only God and He required exclusive allegiance (Exodus 20:1ff; Isaiah 45:14). The God who revealed Himself to Israel is the same God today (see Malachi 3:6 and Hebrews 13:8). And as with Israel, God requires exclusive allegiance or there will be judgment.

Today, idolatry is prevalent worldwide. Just consider all the different worldviews each based on its own god—Islam, Buddhist, Hindu, humanist, atheist, New Age, hedonism, mammon, and so forth. Idolatry is ubiquitous in the present time just as it was in the time of ancient Israel.

Therefore today, as with ancient Israel, we appear to be living in a time when God is forbearing with the sin and rebellion of the world. But, for how long? When will God declare it is enough and execute judgment on the world as He did with the nation of Israel?

If your optimism for the future is based on a naturalist or deistic presupposition, like that of Buffett and Gates, you may find yourself surprised and unprepared. If the Bible is true, anyone who operates assuming no connection between physical and spiritual reality will, in the end, be proven wrong. The only question is when.

If you want to be optimistic—truly optimistic—you must build your life on Christ, the only sure foundation for life. A person who builds his or her life on Christ recognizes that spiritual reality undergirds physical reality. Such a person works diligently to grow in Christ and thereby lays a foundation of sound spiritual reality that will yield blessings in the physical realm.

Notwithstanding the head fake of the wicked, the maxims above are true. Obedience to God facilitates economic blessings and disobedience leads to economic calamity.

To be prepared for the future, it is not enough to simply be optimistic because of past successes; it is not even enough to know the signs of the times in the physical realm. You must be skilled at understanding spiritual reality and know the Lord well enough to align yourself with His will and ways. This is the only basis for true optimism, as this will prepare you for whatever is ahead and facilitate economic blessing in your life.

The Bliss of Freedom

The Bliss of Freedom

“Allan… Allan, where are you?”

Allan was busy in the garage folding boxes and preparing to attack the pile of junk that had built up over a long time. He and his wife Sarah were due to move to another house in three weeks, and there was still a lot to be done!

Allan stopped what he was doing for a moment, then shouted out, “Are you calling me honey? I’m downstairs in the garage!”

A few minutes later Sarah appeared with a cell phone in her hand.

“Hey honey, Colleen is on the line. She wants me to go shopping with her today or tomorrow. She says she needs some company. Do you mind me going with her?”

Allan thought for a moment before answering. Then he said, “Honey, I know that you love going shopping, and I really don’t want to stop you, but you know we don’t have much money right now. It would be better to hold on a little bit until that deposit comes through. It’ll be here in about a week.

Also honey, to be honest, you have so much packing and stuff to do, and you know how time flies. I really don’t think you should think about it until we’ve moved. You know that I don’t mind, but you also know how much there is to be done. I don’t want you to run out of time and be under stress again. Also, remember we’ve got those meetings next week too. Sorry, but I don’t think it’s a good idea right now.”

Sarah didn’t say a word to him, but turned away in anger and stormed up the stairs again so she could continue talking without Allan hearing her.

“Men!” she snarled at Colleen. “They are so irritating! He said I can’t go until we’ve moved, and also said there isn’t enough money right now and I should wait. He’s so annoying and controlling sometimes. For goodness sakes, it’s only for an afternoon, and I’m not going to break the bank! Besides, I have my own money.”

She sighed deeply then tried to calm down a bit.

“Sorry Colleen,” she said. “I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I really feel annoyed and restless. You know me. When I get like that I just love going shopping.”

“Don’t worry,” Colleen said. “I understand. Hey we can go another time. Then we can really make a time of it! Hey, Paul is like that with me sometimes too, and I react just as badly. Allan will give in sooner or later. Just keep nagging him,” she said, then she giggled like a naughty school child.

“Okay, well have a good afternoon then, whatever you decide to do. See you sometime soon.”

They said good bye, and then Sarah walked to the bedroom to put the phone back. As she passed the stairs, Allan was coming up. He could tell by the look on her face that she was mad at him, but he was determined not to be moved by it. He grabbed her round the waist as she walked past and kissed her playfully.

“Still annoyed with me?” he said jokingly. Then he looked at her and said seriously, “Hey, I love you!”

“Just don’t talk to me! You know that shopping is one of my favorite pastimes, especially when I’m feeling stressed. Can’t you just let me enjoy myself for an afternoon? It’s not going to kill you Allan!” Then she glared at him angrily.

Now Allan was starting to get annoyed. He was usually calm, and very little made him lose his composure, but now he turned to face her and looked her right in the eyes.

“Sarah, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go,” he said firmly and slowly. “I don’t know why, but I just have a bad feeling about it. In Biblical terms, I feel a 'Thummim' about it. Now please, for once in your life trust my judgment! Maybe it’s just not a good time right now, I don’t know. I just don’t want you going.”

“You’re just ridiculous!” she snapped at him. “You’re so controlling!”

“Now you’re the one being ridiculous,” he yelled. “You know that I always give you liberty to do what you want to, even when you stay out for ages away from me. You’re making it very hard to keep calm Sarah. I’m sorry, but the answer to going out now is no – and that’s it!” Then trying to calm his loud voice he said, “I need you babe! I need you to help sort everything out. Please. Let’s really push it, then we can have a good rest.”

“Whatever,” she said, walking past him and not even really listening to him.

Allan threw up his hands in despair and sighed. Would she ever listen to him without there always being a fight? He just felt despondent and depressed then, and suddenly realized that he was extremely tired.

He walked through to the bedroom and found Sarah touching up her make up in their en suite bathroom. She was finishing with some bright red lipstick that he loved so much. Allan sat there on the bed watching her and thinking how beautiful she was and how much he loved her. She was slim with gorgeous, shoulder length auburn hair, and she always wore clothes that made her look very attractive.

When she had finished she turned around and saw Allan sitting on the bed.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were going to work,” she said.

“I was, but I’m actually really tired for some strange reason. I think I’m going to have a quick nap, then I’ll get up and push through. Do you want to come and join me?”

“Naah,” she said. “I want to run to the local shops quickly to get some bread for lunch. I’ll be back soon.”

Grabbing the car keys, she was out of the door before he could say anything. The local shops were okay for her to go to. A quick five minute drive and she was there, unlike the long drive she wanted to do into the city with Colleen.

“I’ll just put my feet up and have a quick doze while I’m waiting for her to get back,” Allan thought. Then he climbed into bed and fell asleep almost instantly.

Sarah made her way into town in their car and drove to the local department store. She parked the car and walked in to the shop, taking a shopping cart with her, even though she was only going to pick up some bread. She pushed the cart and wandered slowly up and down the aisles, as though she was enjoying the freedom of being out on her own. She was in no hurry to get home. Suddenly she heard a familiar voice behind her.

“Sarah, is that you?”

She turned and looked behind her. There was Colleen.

“Wow, what are you doing here?” Sarah said smiling. “How funny to bump into you here now. You usually shop at night, don’t you.”

Colleen nodded and smiled. “Yup, change of plan today,” she said. “Paul’s out all day at a conference, so I can do whatever I want!”

Suddenly Sarah had an idea.

“Hey Colleen,” she said, “How about going to the mall now?”

“Now? I thought Allan disapproved of it?”

“Yes he does, but… he’s asleep right now. You know him. When he sleeps he really grabs it and sleeps for hours! He won’t even know that I’m gone. We don’t have to stay there long. I just really need to get out! I’m going nuts inside the house! I did tell him I was going to the shops, so it’s not really a lie.”

“Now now that’s not very good,” joked Colleen. “By the way, can we go in your car? I walked. Needed to get a bit of exercise.”

“Sure, no problem. The car’s parked outside. We can go in mine. It’ll be great!”

“Okay, I just need to finish getting some things quickly and then I can meet you outside,” Colleen said.

A few minutes later they met outside the shop as planned, and they went to Sarah’s car. Soon they were on the road to a large shopping mall in the nearby city center.

“So, how long do you think Allan will sleep for?” Colleen asked as they drove.

“The way he looked when he climbed into bed, we’ve got at least three hours! He was looking stressed, and when he’s stressed he sleeps. I shop! Perhaps we’d better make it a little less, just to be safe. I’ll just tell him I got delayed or something if there’s any problem. He’ll probably still be snoring when I get back though. He won’t even know that I’ve slipped out.”

They finally arrived at the mall and parked the car near the shops that they wanted to go to. Then after a quick walk through the car park they began their shopping. Both of them wanted to go clothes shopping, so they decided to start in a large clothing store. Sarah had some money that she had saved up, so after drawing some cash from the teller machine, she began looking for smart slacks and tops. Colleen went to a different area, and after an hour they met up again to go and pay for their purchases and move to another store.

“Look at what I got!” Sarah said excitedly.

She opened the packet to show Colleen as they walked along. She had bought some smart, pleated slacks and a gorgeous top with sequins on it. Allan loved that kind of top on her.

“Wow, that’s awesome! Are you going to wear it for Allan tonight?” Colleen asked.

“Hmm, I don’t think so, because he didn’t even want me coming out remember? I’ll have to try and find a better time to wear it. Maybe only after we’ve moved and I’ve gone out on my own again. It’s a pity – but hey it’s something to look forward to for later I guess.”

Looking at her watch Sarah suddenly said, “Oh boy, we’d better get moving! It’s getting late, and the last thing I want is for Allan and I to have another fight! I do need a coffee really badly though. Let’s go and grab one quickly and then head for home.”

“Great idea,” Colleen said.

They walked as fast as they could to the coffee shop, but everyone in front of them seemed to be having a casual afternoon stroll. Other people kept walking in their way and slowing them down. They finally got to where they wanted to go and ordered their cappuccinos, but there was a learner operating the machines, and she took forever to get them finished!

“Why is that when you’re in a hurry everything seems to go against you?” Sarah complained as they walked out of the coffee shop.

She was beginning to feel anxious as they started heading back to their car. Time was moving, and there seemed to be delay after delay now. She just wanted to get going now. It had been fun, but now it was time to go home. They packed the boot in silence and got into the car. Sarah turned on the car and let it run for a moment or two, then she began to back out of the parking place.

“That was such fun,” she said to Colleen as she began to reverse. “I felt like a bird that had been restricted up until now and was suddenly let out of its cage.”

Suddenly there was the sound of someone blowing their horn loudly and often.

“Who the heck is playing with their horn?” she said angrily. “Some people are so rude!”

Then she moved back quickly, and there was a loud bang and the sound of crunching metal…

/To be continued…

I Am Not Your Mother

I Am Not Your Mother

Mary sat on the bed trying to calm the strong emotions that were at work in her. She and Joe had just had a big fight, because she had messed up again. She felt so condemned and useless. It seemed like she would never get things right in the house.

Joe had come from a home where his mother was a total perfectionist. Her house was always perfect and tidy. Nothing was ever out of place and Joe was used to living in a home where everything was spotless.

When they were first married, Mary gladly worked hard at keeping the place tidy to make him happy. It did not come naturally to her, because she had grown up in a home where the children were allowed to live normal lives. Mess was inevitable, and although the place was kept tidy, this was not the most important thing in the home.

Their marriage seemed to be happy and everything went well until Mary fell pregnant with Jimmy. The weariness of her pregnancy made it difficult for her to keep up with all the housework, and she found it difficult to keep things neat and tidy the way Joe liked it all the time.

Joe tried to understand that Mary was not able to keep up with all the housework, but he would often make little remarks that really hurt. He would say something like, “Oh how I long for a home that was like the one I grew up in. But I understand you cannot keep the place neat because you are weary with the pregnancy.”

Those remarks were like a slap in the face for Mary. He was saying in effect that she was too useless to keep the home neat. He was not going to fight about it, but he was telling Mary that she was not good enough. She was not as good has his mother.

Mary would just sit and suffer in silence, but she always felt a failure when Joe was home. She felt like she had to always try to measure up to the high standard that his mother had set. Sometimes she would end the day in total despair, simply because she had been too weary to get all the housework done.

Then came Jimmy’s birth, and things went from bad to worse. Now she not only could not cope with the normal housework, but she also had a child to take care of. And as Jimmy grew up and began to move around the house a new chaos was added to their lives.

It was not enough to just tidy up the place now. It became a life-consuming task. This was something that she had to do all day and every day. It was a joy when Jimmy finally fell asleep and was no longer demanding her attention. But that did not mean she could rest. She had to use this time to tidy up the mess that Jimmy had created, make sure that the house was in order, that the washing was done, and that Joe had clean socks and underwear. Then she had to get supper ready too.

Failure in any of these areas would cause a bad atmosphere in the home when Joe got home from work. He would not always say he was not happy. But it showed in his attitude. He was uncomfortable and abrupt when things were not the way he wanted them.

Mary remembered one occasion where she had spent some time tidying up the living room, and had also vacuumed the carpet. It had taken her a lot of effort to do this. But later that evening, as she was sitting in the bedroom, she heard the sound of the vacuum and went to see what was happening.

Sure enough, Joe was busy vacuuming the living room carpet. He was aggressively attacking the carpet as though it was really dirty. Mary stood watching him for a minute without saying anything. Then, when he saw her and stopped for a moment, she asked him:

“What are you doing?”

“I’m cleaning this carpet,” he said. “It has not been vacuumed in ages and I cannot stand the mess!

“I did it this morning,” Mary said.

Joe stopped for a moment dumbfounded, not knowing what to say. Then he excused his behavior by saying, “Well you obviously did not do it properly, because it is still a mess.” He continued to vacuum to prove his point.

Mary walked out of the room shaking her head. This husband of hers was impossible. It seemed that she just could not do anything that would make him happy. She really began to despair and life for her was not a happy experience any more. It seemed that each day was just a push to survive. She tried to do her best, and Joe continued to show his disapproval of her efforts.

Then tonight things had come to a head. She had not had a good day, and her nerves were on edge when Joe walked in with his usual attitude. She was like a stick of dynamite just waiting to be ignited, and Joe lit her fuse.

For a long time she had felt insecure and useless. She had always felt that she was a second rate wife. She had always tried to apologize for her failures. But tonight she had reached breaking point. The many years of hurt and anger that she had held inside her came shooting out in one big explosion.

She told Joe that she was sick of trying to compete with his mother. She told him that she was his wife and not his mother. She told him that she had had enough of trying to be something that she was not. She was sick and tired of his insults and sarcastic comments about the state of the house. She was sick of being married to him, and she really felt like taking Jimmy, packing her bags and moving out.

The look of shock on Joe’s face was a picture moment. He had never seen her like this before. And although he had been angry and attacking her in the usual way, he was suddenly silent. He stood there dumbfounded as she stomped out of the room to go and cry in the bedroom.

He had never ever considered what life would be like without Mary. He had always taken her for granted, and expected her to be there to take care of his needs. He figured that was what a woman was there for.

This is the image that his mother had firmly planted into him. She had always been there for him as he grew up. She always took care of his needs and created a nice neat home that he could enjoy. Whenever he had a need, his mother was there to meet it for him. She was also the best cook in the world. For a long time he could not see himself living without mother nearby.

Then he had made the mistake that many men make when they are married. He had thought that his wife was there to replace his mother. He expected her to take care of him in the same way that his mother had done.

For the first time now, he realized that he had made a big mistake. As he thought about it, some words that he had heard long ago began to rise up inside of him. He realized that it was a passage of Scripture that he had heard many times. It said:

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. And the two together will become as one person. So then they are no longer two but one.”

Therefore a man shall leave his mother…. The words began to burn inside of him as he thought about them. What an idiot he had been. Ever since he had married Mary he had tried to make her into an image that was like his mother. He had never accepted her for what she was. He had not seen all her good qualities.

All he had seen in her were the things that were not like the image he had of a perfect woman. And now he saw where that image had come from. He had seen his mother as the perfect image and tried to change Mary. But Mary was not meant to replace his mother. She was to be his lover and helper. She was to be his right hand.

Walking into the bedroom where Mary lay weeping on the bed, Joe fell to his knees next to her. He had always been able to control his feelings, but now the tears were beginning to flow as he realized the pain he had caused this wonderful woman whom the Lord had given him.

“Mary, I have been a fool. I have not appreciated all the good things the Lord has given me in you. I have tried to change you into what I thought you should be, instead of just loving you the way you are. Please will you forgive me.”

Mary opened her eyes to see a sight she had never seen before in the years of their marriage. She saw a husband who truly loved her and appreciated her. She saw a man who had been caught in something that he did not understand.

As she saw him kneeling there with the tears streaming down his face, she felt a love welling up inside of her that she had not experienced since she first fell in love with this man who had walked into her life.

Putting her arms around him, she hugged him and said,

“Of course I forgive you. I understand what you have been going through. And I really want to be the best wife ever for you. I want you to be happy and enjoy being home with me. And I really do want to keep the house nice for you. Please forgive me for being bitter against you when you asked me to do this for you. I got angry and sometimes I just left the place in the mess on purpose, just because I was angry at you.”

With that Joe and Mary both broke down and wept in each others arms. It was a kind of cleansing experience that broke down all the barriers that had been between them for so long. It released a deep feeling of love that led very quickly to passion and desire to express to each other the love that they was burning inside of both of them.

Joe felt like he wanted to make love to Mary all night just to show her how much he really loved her. And Mary felt like she wanted to just return his love and lie in his arms all night in case this was all just a dream, and she would wake up to find it was not real.

That night both Joe and Mary came to a decision in their heart. It was something like this:

“I will love and appreciate my spouse because of who they are, not because of what they do.”

“I will never try to make my spouse into an image that I want, but allow them to be who they are.”

Joe was thinking: “I will always love Mary, even if the house is a mess and she does not get it all done right.”

Mary was thinking: “I want to really try and keep the place neat as a surprise to Joe to show him how much I love him.”

They were both thinking,

“Wow if the sex is always this good after a fight, maybe we should fight more often.”

Not Now Please – The Conclusion

Not Now Please – The Conclusion

Here is where the story ended last time…

Janet sighed. “Okay,” she said, then walked out of the room and went to the lounge. Sitting down on the soft sofa she said, “Argh! You’re just like my dad – always telling me I’m stupid!”

She pounded the pillow in an attempt to get her frustration out, then said, “Lord Jesus please help me! I feel like screaming! Please tell me what’s going on!”

Now for the conclusion…

The rest of the day up until lunch time, Janet felt moody and depressed and couldn’t get that hurtful feeling out of her mind.

“It’s so illogical and stupid!” she thought. “It’s not the end of the world what he said, but I just can’t let it go. Yes I was stupid not to watch what I was doing. But hey, was it that bad that he had to scream at me and be nasty to me?”

She tried to get back into her writing, but it was very difficult to do anything! She couldn’t think straight, and every few minutes the fight that she and Andrew had had seemed to repeat in her mind over and over again. It was as though her mind wanted to remind her of the negative situation all the time. What was worse was that each time she thought of it, she felt that same pain and hurt all over again.

She battled on and on during the morning trying to get things done, but she did a bit here and a bit there, and accomplished nothing! Eventually she looked at her watch.

“It’s lunch time,” she thought. “I’d better get something prepared. Maybe I’ll be more successful in doing that.”

She thought of the quickest and easiest thing that she could make, as she didn’t feel like cooking at all. Also no matter what she did, she just couldn’t concentrate, and even this easy meal took her twice as long to make as it normally did.

When it was finally finished she went and called Andrew. It was the first time they had even spoken to each other since the morning. She had just left him to work and hadn’t even been into the room at all. She put her head round the door of the room and said rather loudly, “Lunch is ready! Come and eat!” Then she walked out again before he could answer her.

“Oh dear, I really have to stop being so angry! I’ve got to do something to change this now,” she thought, feeling bad for being so abrupt. “Lord Jesus, please help me to resolve this problem now,” she prayed. “I can’t carry on like this with my feelings eating me up and having no peace.”

She went to the dining room, dished in the food for both of them, and then sat down and started to eat already. Andrew came and joined her a few minutes later. He gave her a little smile and said, “Thanks honey! Busy morning?”

“No, not really,” she said without even looking at him. Then she carried on eating.

He began to eat his salad and she buttered some bread, but neither of them said a word. There was an uneasy silence, and you could feel the tension in the air. Then Janet could not take it anymore. Silently she prayed, “Lord Jesus, help me to clear the air now please. And give us both wisdom to sort it out.”

Then taking a deep breath she blurted out, “Andy, I have a problem…”

He stopped eating for a minute and looked at her.

“I have noticed,” he said jokingly. Then he said with all sincerity, “What’s up?”

“I’m just still mad at you from this morning! I know it’s crazy, but I can’t get victory over this thing. Yes, I was stupid to knock the guitar over. I admit it. But I’m sorry, I still feel hurt about you yelling at me. I don’t know what’s the matter. I just can’t stop thinking about it. And each time I do so, it makes it worse. To be honest with you, I can’t stand it when you act like you did this morning! I really hate it when you become a driver and boss me around! Then when you tell me I’m stupid, you’re just like my darn dad!”

He was about to take another mouthful, but he put his fork down and looked at her.

“Of course! Don’t you realize what’s happening here?” he asked.

She thought for a minute then shook her head.

“No, I haven’t got a clue!”

“It’s a law of judgment, Jay. It’s a very clear one!”

“A law of judgment? What do you mean?”

“Honey, think about all the stories that you told me about your dad of when you were growing up. You have told me so many stories of how he was nasty to you and insulted you and told you that you were stupid. Now what happened here today? I did the same thing to you, even though I really didn’t want to. It just kind of rose up inside of me.”

Janet took a sip of her orange juice and then looked closely at him.

“So it’s like a repeat from the past,” she said slowly. “It’s like you became my dad all over again, and the very thing that I hated about him is what you became?”

“Bingo! You see, you judged your dad every time he did those things to you, and the Scripture, ‘Judge not, and you will not be judged,’ is exactly what happened here. You reaped your judgment of your dad in me.”

She sat quietly for a moment as she thought about everything and let it sink in.

“Wow, I can’t believe this! I guess it’s good that I’ve finally seen it. I really need to stop it now. I don’t know how to do it though.”

“That’s easy,” he said. “You need to let that judgment go. Even though your dad hurt you, your reaction was sinful. And so you need to ask the Lord to forgive you for sinning and judging your dad. It’s really that simple.”

“Maybe you can pray with me later,” she said.

“Well why later? Why not do it right now?” Andrew answered. “Just submit yourself to the Lord again, then ask Him to forgive you for being bitter, and let that judgment go.”

He put his knife and fork down and pushed his food plate aside so that he could concentrate on the matter. Then he held his hand out to Janet. She took his hand then started to pray.

“Lord Jesus, I submit myself to you now in every area of my life. Lord, I ask you to forgive me for being bitter against my dad and for judging him.”

She began to weep softly then. Andrew squeezed her hand gently to encourage her.

“Keep going,” he said. “You’ll get the release.”

“Lord I realize that I have judged him and I want to let that judgment go now. I take back those words that I spoke against him. I renounce them and ask you to remove that judgment and take it out of me. Thank you for showing me the answer Lord.”

“Okay, now you must also talk to your dad as if he was standing here,” Andrew said. “Tell him everything that you’ve wanted to say in the past, but have never been able to say face to face. Ask him to forgive you too for being angry at him. Even though he’s not here it will still give you a release.”

Janet sat for a good few minutes before beginning to talk. This was difficult for her, because she had so much pent-up emotion in her, and so much anger that had built up over the years, but she knew she had to do it.

“Dad,” she said, “I want to talk to you…” She waited for a few seconds before carrying on. “I’m afraid I’m really upset with you. You always treated me badly compared to Philip and Colleen. You always told them that they were wonderful, and me that I was stupid! You really hurt me dad, but I forgive you for it. I know that you did love me, but you found it hard to accept me because I was so different. Please forgive me for being bitter and judging you.”

Now the tears flowed freely and she sobbed hard. But as she did it, it was as though all the pain, anger and hurts that she had carried with her over all those years began to just flood away. Suddenly she was aware that she no longer felt the way she did that morning. All the negative thoughts and emotions were gone!

“Love you,” Andrew said as he smiled at her. Then he reached over and gave her a kiss. “Please forgive me for hurting you. I never ever wanted to do that! You’re too important to me.”

Janet smiled at him, her eyes still wet with tears.

“Of course I forgive you! Love you too,” she said.

They continued their meal then, but this time they talked about their future together, about having children, and about ministering for the Lord together.

“Thank you Jesus!” Janet prayed under her breath. “You’re so good to me! Thank you for answering me and showing me what’s going on. Love you too Lord!”

Not Now Please!

Not Now Please!

Janet woke up bright and early, feeling alert and energetic for once!

“Wow,” she thought, “this is wonderful! It’s like a dream come true and an answer to my prayers!”

For many weeks before she had been waking up late, feeling tired and weary even before the day started. Often she felt depressed as well. When she got out of bed it felt as though there was a heavy weight sitting on her back and slowing her down. But this morning everything was different! She felt as though someone had removed that heavy weight and she felt as light as a feather!

She stretched her arms and legs, then got up and went to the window to peep through the blinds. The sun had not yet risen, but the sky was a brilliant bright blue color, and there was not a cloud to be seen. What a beautiful sight it was!

As she turned away to look for some comfortable clothes to slip on, she stopped for a moment to look at her husband Andrew. He was sleeping peacefully like a baby. She stood watching him for a moment and smiled. His foot was moving slowly from side to side, and she could see the pupils of his eyes moving rapidly. He was clearly dreaming and releasing the pressure of the big workload he had been under the last few days.

“What a wonderful husband I have,” she thought to herself. “He’s just the best! He’s so loving and caring and tender! I wouldn’t trade him for anything in this world!”

She finished getting dressed, putting on make up and perfume, and then she felt like she could really start the day. She felt good! Leaving the bedroom quietly so that she didn’t wake Andrew up, she went and prepared her favorite morning snack of coffee and English muffins in the kitchen. As she waited for the coffee to brew she kept herself busy by tidying up a few things, and she suddenly found herself singing as she did it. That was amazing! It was something she hadn’t done in months!

Once her snack was made she went and sat outside on their little balcony on the swing seat they had just set up. What a beautiful view was before her! The mountains in the distance were just beginning to lighten up as the sun began to rise, and she felt a sense of peace and contentment. Everything was quiet except for a few birds that were twittering excitedly as they had an early morning bath in the birdbath nearby. Sitting and rocking gently on the swing she just relaxed and took in the peaceful moment.

“Today is going to be a good day!” she said to herself.

It seemed like she had sat there for a long time with her eyes closed. She was in her own little world, when she suddenly felt the seat of the swing move. Andrew came out quietly and sat down next to her.

“Hey, you’re up early!” he said in surprise. Then he gave her a big hug and kiss.

Janet smiled. “What a wonderful way to start the day! I got up early this morning. I woke up at sunrise and just feel so good. I know that today is going to be great! Want some breakfast?” she asked.

“Thanks, that’ll be great!”

Janet went inside and prepared one of his favorite quick meals. Then they sat down together on the porch to enjoy the cool of the day before starting off their work. They didn’t do much talking, but they just enjoyed each other’s presence. There was no need to talk a lot, because they felt comfortable in each other’s presence. After the meal was over Andrew went inside to go and start working. He worked from home on the Internet, so Janet was fortunate to have him around all the time. This had made their relationship very strong and close.

After washing the few dishes that were dirtied and cleaning the kitchen counters quickly, Janet went to her computer to do some writing that she had wanted to do for ages.

“Now, let’s see which one I should do first,” she said to herself. “Okay, let’s finish that article off. I feel a flow on it.”

She began to type away furiously as the thoughts poured into her head. She had been stuck on the middle of the article for a few weeks now, but suddenly she saw the pictures so clearly. Now she could complete the article at last!. She was just in a wonderful flow when Andrew came through the door and disturbed her thoughts.

“Jay,” he said, “I’m really tired of tripping over the network cable in the room. I want to sort it out today! Right now! We can’t carry on like this. We need to get this thing sorted out now. I want to change the bed to the other side of the room as we’ve discussed. Can you help me with it please!”

“Oh no!” she thought infuriated! Why now? I’m just getting into such a good flow. And I know that tone of voice he’s using. He’s in driver mode!” Then as if to encourage herself she thought, “Come on, just make the most of it. He’s your husband. Just submit to him and it’ll be fine. I’m determined not to be moved by this now. I will have the victory today!”

She stopped and looked at him. “Okay,” she said slowly, “but then can I get on with my writing please. I was just in a good flow there!”

She made it clear that she was not impressed.

“I’m sorry honey, it won’t take long. But we must do it now. We can’t carry on like this! Come, let’s go!”

A sense of irritation began to rise up in her already, and she had to fight the negative feelings inside of her. She followed him into the room and they began to move small items of furniture and other objects to the other side of the room. Then pushing and pulling little by little, they moved the bed to the opposite side of the room.

“Oh boy, look at the dust that was under the bed,” Andrew said. “Please get a broom and sweep it up quickly.”

“I hate that tone of voice!” she thought angrily. “It’s not what he says, but just somehow the way he says it makes me feel livid!”

Janet walked to the kitchen and got the broom, but clearly she was too slow for his liking.

“Hurry up! I haven’t got all day!” he snapped at her.

She didn’t say a word, but just gave him a look of real irritation. Then she snatched the broom and began sweeping quickly out of anger. She really didn’t feel like submitting to him now, and certainly the love that she had felt for him earlier seemed to be disappearing out of the door right at this moment.

Suddenly there was a crash as Andrew’s guitar fell to the floor.

“Oh no,” she thought in frustration. “I guess I let my anger get the better of me.”

“What are you doing?” he yelled at her. “Are you stupid? Can’t you watch what you’re doing? That’s a brand new guitar!”

“No I’m not stupid!” she snapped at him. “I didn’t see it behind me. I’m sorry,” she said softly. “It was an accident.”

Now it wasn’t just anger and resentment that she was feeling, but extreme sadness as well, and she felt a big lump welling up in her throat as she tried to hide it. She had always felt this in the past. She had never been able to show her emotions, but had hidden them inside, especially if she was upset about something. She had been having such victory over this problem lately, but now suddenly the past seemed to be creeping back. What was going on here?

Andrew grabbed the guitar and examined it to see if there were any damages to it. It seemed to be okay, but he took it out of the room anyway.

“You can go back and work again,” he said after a few minutes. “I’ll be okay to finish the rest.”

What a sorry sight they looked. They just stood staring at each other for a moment without saying anything. Then he looked at her and smiled. “Thank you honey,” he said, trying to truly show some appreciation, but it was really hard to not get angry with her. It just seemed to rise up in him without him even trying, but he really loved her so much.

Janet sighed. “Okay,” she said, then walked out of the room and went to the lounge. Sitting down on the soft sofa she said, “Argh! You’re just like my dad – always telling me I’m stupid!”

She pounded the pillow in an attempt to get her frustration out, then said, “Lord Jesus please help me! I feel like screaming! Please tell me what’s going on!”

Honey, I Need You!

Honey, I Need You!

Jill was awakened from a deep sleep by her husband Rob, who had to shake her by the shoulders to bring her out of her state of unconsciousness.

“Hey, sleepy head”, he teased. “Are you going to sleep all day? I need some socks so I can get moving. I have that important sales meeting today remember? You know I can never find the socks after they have been in the wash.”

Jill glanced up at the clock on the wall and let out a gasp. She really hated getting up late, and she hated it even more when she had to get moving the moment she woke up. It required a good morning cup of tea to put her in the right frame of mind before she tackled anything else.

Today she felt moody and depressed, as though she was carrying the whole world on her shoulders right from the start. Perhaps it was the dream she was having when she was so rudely awoken, or maybe it was just that time of month.

After extracting a pair of socks from the washing box for Rob, she scurried around making sure that he had everything he needed for the day. “Sometimes men are just like little boys”, she thought to herself. “I wonder what he would do without me in the morning?”

She walked with Rob to the car, giving him a quick kiss as he attached the seatbelt and started the engine. Then she watched as he pulled out of the driveway and headed off into the distance.

She watched until he disappeared around the corner of the road, then slowly walked back into the house to face the task of the day. Normally she had things pretty much under control, but today, it seemed like a heavy weight was pushing down on her.

Before attacking the chaos that existed in the home as a result of having visitors the night before, she decided to freshen up with a hot shower. This was normally a pleasant experience, but it soon became apparent that today was not destined to be a good day.

An accidental spilling of some soap suds into her eyes caused her to gasp in pain, but when she reached out to grab the face towel to wipe the soap away, it was not there. Someone must have moved it from its usual place. “Ouch”, she cried out as she fumbled blindly looking for a towel to wipe her eyes. Then, “Rob, you idiot, when will you put things back where you found them!”

When the ordeal was over, Jill felt anything but refreshed. She decided to try the next best thing to get her started for the day. A good healthy breakfast. Pulling a bowl out of the cupboard, she removed the box of cereal from the cupboard to pour out a bowl full of cereal for herself. But, yep, you guessed it, the box was empty. It had been put back into the cupboard that way instead of being thrown in the garbage bin.

Her anger level was beginning to rise slowly, but Jill kept her cool, and decided to stay in control. Further examination of the food cupboard showed that she was overdue for a trip to the grocery store. So an unplanned item was added to her schedule for today.

Since she had already wasted valuable time that could have been used better, Jill was in a hurry to get the shopping over as quickly as possible. But today it seemed that every slow driver in the community had the same idea, and it took an age to get to the shops.

As if this was not bad enough, it seemed that everyone in the community had also decided to shop at the same store she chose. It seemed like each person had the idea that shopping was supposed to be a casual stroll through each aisle. After a few incidents of waiting forever for someone to move their cart out of her way, she decided to just push her way through the crowd. Grabbing everything she needed, she hurried to the till to pay and get out of there.

Taking the teller who had the shortest line, she waited to be served. She recognized the teller, and was glad she had chosen this line, because she was usually fast and efficient. There was only one person ahead of her, an older man who only had a few items in his cart.

But appearances can be deceiving. The man slowly and methodically removed each item from his cart, placed them carefully on the counter in a straight line, and then proceeded to pay. When given the total amount due, he then slowly pulled out his wallet and began to dig feverishly into each compartment. He removed some notes, looked up at the total again, and then began to fidget in his wallet for some coins. It was clear that he was planning to pay the exact amount, to the cent if possible.

“Argh” Jill bit her lip in frustration. “Why couldn’t he just give her a larger note, and let her give him the change’, she thought to herself.

Finally, he had given her the correct amount. And now he took another half hour (at least it felt that way) to put his wallet back together and return it to his pocket. And then, finally, she got her chance to be served. The teller was true to her usual standard, and moments later, she was heading out of the shop with her cart, heading quickly for the exit so she could get out of this place.

She looked up to see a young boy running headlong towards her. It seemed as if he was going to run right into her, so she quickly stepped out of the way. But the boy was not alone. His friend now came hurtling towards Jill even faster than he had. Obviously they were playing a game or something, and were chasing each other.

“Where are their parents?” Jill almost snapped out in anger. “How can they let their children act like lunatics in a public place like that?”

This was the final straw. The day had started out badly enough, but now she felt like she was ready to explode and burst into tears. Clearly the onset of her period was now near at hand, and the hormones were making her feel emotional and out of control.

She knew that this was a normal thing for most women, and it was her time of month for this to happen. She knew this was something that she needed to control. She knew she had to try to keep positive and things would come right. She knew these things, but putting them into practice was not quite that simple.

By the time she got home, she was in a state. She needed to talk to someone. She needed someone who would understand and help her calm her emotions. She needed Rob so badly. If she could just hear his calm assuring voice, it would help a bit.

Picking up the phone she dialed his work number, and waited anxiously for him to pick up the phone. It seemed to take an age for him to answer, but finally she heard his business voice as he said,

“Rob Jones here, how may I help you?”

“Rob” she burst out. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”

Expecting to hear her husband say something like, “Jill darling, what is the matter? How are you doing?” she was somewhat taken aback when he spoke to her curtly and said,

“Honey, this is a work phone, and I am busy right now with an important project. This is not a good time to call. Please show more wisdom before you call me at work just to chat.”

Jill wanted to shout out, “Rob, I need you desperately. I have had a terrible day. I need you to understand and comfort me.” But she felt hurt by Rob’s stinging words. He did not understand what she was going through. And perhaps she was just being selfish expecting him to listen to her emotional outburst. So she apologized and hung up the phone.

There was so much that needed to be done in the house, but Jill just did not feel up to it now. In frustration she decided to do the only thing that she knew would help relieve the stress and the tension that had built up inside her. She decided to take an afternoon nap. At least by the time she awoke, it would be almost time for Rob to come home. Then they could spend a bit of time relaxing together, and she could share with him the cares of the day.

The sleep sure helped, but she awoke still sensing a deep need to be with Rob and to have his comfort and understanding. Rushing through the house, she quickly pulled everything together to make the place look neat. Then she set about making herself more presentable for her husband.

She put on an outfit that he really liked. Then fluffing up her hair to make it look good, she proceeded to apply the necessary paint that has the power to transform a woman from plainness to prettiness. The red lipstick was Rob’s favorite, so she applied that last to complete the makeover. Looking at herself in the mirror, she nodded her head in satisfaction. “Not bad, even if I say so myself,” she said.

She then began preparations for supper and was busy in the kitchen when she heard Rob’s car pull up. Running to the door, she swung it open to greet him as he stepped up to it.

“Hi honey”, Rob said, as he gave her a peck on the lips. “How was your day?”

But then, as she was about to pour out her heart to him, to tell him what an awful day it had been, he pulled some files out from under his arm and walked to his desk, to put them down there.

Jill’s heart sank. “Not extra work from the office again, “ she wailed inside. The last thing she wanted tonight was for him to sit glued to the computer screen again, typing away at some work project. She had already pictured in her mind what would happen tonight. She just wanted him to hold her close, and listen to her pour out all her frustrations and cares. He did not need to do anything, just be there for her.

But the determined look on his face showed that he had already made his plans for the evening. He was still in ‘work’ mode, and intended to finish the job before going to bed.

She did not say anything, because she knew that he would not understand. It was a battle she would surely lose if she tried to fight it. So she pinned her hopes on supper. Perhaps there would be time to share while they ate. Perhaps he would listen as she poured out her sorrows. Perhaps he would take just a little time to be with her before he started the work.

It started out great. He was relaxed and enjoying the meal, and she was about to open her mouth to tell him about her day, when suddenly there was a knock at the door. It was Chris, a close friend of Rob who had come to return a saw that he had borrowed.

“I saw you were home, so I decided to just pop in,” Chris said, as Rob motioned him to join them at the table. Jill was hoping he would refuse the offer and go home, but Rob then offered him something to drink, so that was the end of her chance to have some private moments with her husband.

Chris did not stay long, but the moment had now passed. The atmosphere was just not right for her to bring up the subject that was burning on her heart. Now she would just have to wait until his work was done, and perhaps at the end of the evening there would be time to share.

She could not wait to lie in Rob’s strong arms in bed, and feel his strength surrounding her. Oh how she needed him to just hold her tightly and help her forget all about the world around. He would understand, and say the right things and this would take away all the pain inside.

Rob was a hard worker, and when he put his mind to a job, he gave it his all. So it was no surprise to Jill when he sat down at the computer after dinner, and began to apply himself to the work that he had brought home.

She sat waiting for him. She would never have imposed on him. She loved him too much for that. So she sat and busied herself with a handcraft hobby to pass the time until he was done. Then, to make the moment even more special, she changed into a lovely negligee that she felt sure would get his attention. Then she applied some of his favorite perfume, and brushed past him so that he could smell it.

Rob glanced up at his wife, and he liked what he saw. The smell of her perfume filled his senses. But he had to finish his work first, and he now made an extra effort to do that. Pushing himself hard, he finally managed to put the finishing touches to the project. Then he sat back in his chair, sighed a huge sigh of relief, and prepared to retire for the night.

“Finally” sighed Jill to herself. “I thought it would never arrive”. Now at last her moment had come, and as Rob began to move towards her, she reached out her hands to him to invite him to join her in bed. He touched her hands, and she felt a rush of anticipation as he began to draw her closer to him, but the moment was interrupted by a loud noise coming from the computer.

“Oh no” Jill moaned. Someone was buzzing Rob for a chat on his computer. “Can’t you just ignore it honey” she cried.

“Let me just see who it is quickly,” he said. “Oh it’s Paul. He says he’s got the equipment ready for me. I just need to pick it up. Let me just discuss it very quickly with him. I promise I won’t be long! I know you’re waiting for me. Be there right now.”

“Yeah - in another hour. I know you when you get on chat,” she growled. Then she thought to herself, “It’s strange how when I need him, everybody else needs him too.

And, true to type, Rob did just as she expected. He chatted on and on, while she lay waiting in frustration. Eventually she gave up all hope that tonight would ever end the way she had hoped. She was already beginning to fall asleep when he finally crawled in next to her.

Rob’s touch brought her to life again. And as he placed his strong arms around her she snuggled back into him and finally felt like her moment had come.

“Rob darling” she began. “Today has been terrible. Nothing has gone right, and it felt like everything was against me. I got soap in my eyes while showering, and then when I went to the shops everyone was getting in my way, and there was this old man in front of me at the till that took all day to pay for his stuff and…”

As she paused to take a breath, Jill heard what sounded like a cat purring. Turning to her husband she realized that the sound was coming from him. He had fallen fast asleep and was snoring away. She was talking to herself.